“It’s, um, nothing. I’m fine,” I answered. I tried to sound reassuring, but my tone fell flat.
“It’s definitelynotnothing,” he said and pulled me down for a kiss. “Are you changing your mind about this? If you’re uncomfortable being with a man, we don’t have to?—”
“No! Fuck, no, I’d never change my mind about this—about you,” I quickly said and kissed him again.
I hated that my worries were causing him to doubt me.
“It’s true I never thought I’d be with a guy, but that’s only because I didn’t think I’d be withanyone. And now that I’ve gotten to know you, Atlas, I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to be with. It doesn’t bother me that you’re a man, and if that makes me bisexual, so be it. I’m not afraid of labels. I’ve lived with the worst of them on my back for most of my life.”
“I hate that you did. People are blind not to see what a wonderful person you are,” Atlas grumbled. I shrugged. As I’d said, I’d gotten used to it. “It’s okay to question your sexuality, especially when doing something so intimate as penetration,” he continued and caressed my temple. His finger grazing over my scar tickled my heart.
I didn’t know how I got so lucky with someone so caring and understanding. I didn’t want him to doubt for a single second what I felt about him.
“I’m not questioning my sexuality,” I told him firmly. “I love you, so that means I’m probably bi, and that label doesn’t scare me. I was just being…jealous.”
He furrowed his brow. “Jealous? About what?”
“About the men you were using those condoms with,” I admitted, waving toward the box. It was still within reach, but had tipped over to the side, and even in the dim light, I could see that it was half empty. I pushed down the green monster that roared at the thought of all the fun he’d been having with other people.
Atlas bursting into laughter was the last thing Iexpected while I was over here stewing in my jealousy. He pulled me down and smothered kisses all over my face. His lip lingered on my scar before releasing me enough so we could meet eye to eye.
“The last person I slept with, besides you, was my ex. The only person I’ve wanted is you, so there’s no way I would jump into bed with anyone else.”
“But…”
I eyed the box, and the wheels in my head spun. Did he really bring a half-empty box of condoms all the way here from his old town, which had been left unused since? Or maybe he used them on himself when he masturbated. Seemed like a weird thing to do, but maybe he wanted easy cleanup?
Atlas laughed and stroked my hair. “I use them with my dildo,” he explained.
“Oh…Oh.”
“I can show you, if you’d like,” Atlas said with a grin.
I was nodding before I could really comprehend. My head was spinning with thoughts of Atlas fucking himself with a dildo while I’d been right next door. I wanted to watch and see how he’d pleasure himself. I’d probably come from watching his hole greedily take the toy.
“Right now?” he teased. Atlas wrapped both his legs around me and thrust his hips up, and all thoughts of dildos and condoms flew out of my brain.
I hungrily kissed Atlas through his laughter. Myhand blindly patted around for the bottle of lube and coated my fingers generously.
“Hurry. Need you,” Atlas whispered breathlessly.
“Need you more,” I breathed. My fingers were clumsy when I tried to stretch him with two digits. Atlas’ laugh was light and playful. His body relaxed when I slipped in a third, and that was when his playful mood shifted, heavy with desire.
His breaths were slow as he stroked his dick along with the tempo of my fingers.
“I’m ready,” he gritted out, his hand squeezing the base of his erection. He pushed me to my back and climbed on top of me. He wanted to lead again, and I was more than happy to let him.
My hands were shaky when I tore the condom packet open. I suited up in a daze, my focus completely on the beautiful man above me. Atlas slicked me up with one smooth hand, then his palm was braced on my stomach as he positioned himself.
Our eyes locked during his excruciatingly slow slide down my length. My hands were hard on his hips, but he didn’t seem to notice. I hoped they would leave marks. He was rocking his hips, making me slide deeper inside him with each movement.
His name was a prayer on my lips as I kept calling out to him. Atlas’ hand slid through the dark dusting of hair on my chest until he reached my heart.
“I love you,” he said at the exact moment heslammed his hips down, and I was balls deep inside of him.
“Oh, fuck. Oh god, Atlas,” I cried. I was all limp muscles of need for him. I was so close to the edge, seeing his beautiful form use me for his pleasure, but I couldn’t force my eyes away from him if I’d wanted to.
“I’m close too,” Atlas murmured.
