The baked spaghettiwas stuck to the bottom of the pan. Garlic knots had not only burned, but the bread was dried out and were hard like rocks. The dough for the homemade apple pie was still on the counter, and my legs were numb.
I had been sitting in the same seat for the last twenty minutes. I had determined that I wasn’t going to watch the trial from the onset, but when Deuce ran out because he was called to testify, I had to watch the trial. A part of me felt that I was being supportive of him by watching and that if I wasn’t there in the flesh, I could be there in the spirit.
But there was another part of me that felt he was hiding something from me, and I couldn’t sit back and play the fool. Ifelt like things would come out in the trial that would give me the answers that I was searching for.
I had called Amani and told her that I wouldn’t be able to make it. But by the time I called, she was already in our neighborhood to pick me up. She had suggested we have lunch together at Deuce’s house. I agreed because I still looked forward to her company, and I knew she wanted to escape her children for one afternoon.
I could easily provide her the outlet that she needed while keeping my mind preoccupied. I knew that I wouldn’t do anything but sit around and worry about Deuce if I were alone. She had come and sat with me while we ordered Thai food on DoorDash. We ate lunch, talked about life, about my new business that I was starting, and her career as a life coach.
She had decided to pursue that path when she was looking for something to do while her children were little. She wanted to work from home so that she could take care of them rather than placing them in daycare. Someone had suggested that she become a life coach because of how wonderful she was with guiding people, providing life advice, and organizing people’s lives. Thinking that might be a good idea, she had taken courses and become certified.
I admired Amani because she seemed like a good wife, if the way her husband and kids adored her were an indicator. On top of that, she was always calm and peaceful, and she was pursuing a career while maintaining a family and a household. Nothing too much ever ruffled her feathers. I aspired to be like her.
But today I was a long way away from that. She sat beside me on the couch and held my hand as I rocked back and forth.
“Sevyn, everything isn’t always what it appears to be. When questions are asked, they are going to be asked in a certain way for the advantage of the side who is asking it. He’s not going tobe allowed to tell the whole story no matter how it clears things up, because it might also muck it up for the other side.”
I nodded and swiped at the tears falling from my eyes.
“Breathe,” she cautioned, squeezing my hand. “There was a reason he didn’t share all of that. Give him the benefit of the doubt.”
I cast my gaze her way and then tore it away and stared back at the screen where the man I loved was talking. Deuce and Amani could have been twins; they looked so much alike. It was difficult for me to believe the man I stared at on screen was the same one I shared a bed with, my body with, and opened my heart up to.
“How were you certain that the fetus Officer Ward was carrying belonged to you and not her husband, Detective Fullwood?”
“Officer Ward and I had been involved for the last year, as I stated earlier. She was no longer involved with her husband, but we also discussed having a non-invasive prenatal DNA test. She suggested it to assuage any concerns I might have that it was his baby.”
“And were there any concerns?”
“No.”
“How could you be so sure?”
“Because Officer Ward and I spent every moment together in our off-duty hours. Whenever our shift ended, we left the precinct and met up somewhere else. We stayed together until it was time to return to work again. She wasn’t dealing with her husband in those days. I was the only man she was with. The only one she loved.”
“Objection, Your Honor!”
“Sevyn,I’m turning the TV off.”
“Please don’t.”
“Why? You’re torturing yourself. None of this has anything to do with your relationship with him.”
“It does. He didn’t tell me anything about a baby.” That was what hurt so badly. I knew about the affair, because he had told me, but he failed to mention the baby. My pain circulated around the baby. It was all about the baby, and yet, I couldn’t explain that to her. I wasn’t ready.
“It all happened before you, Sevyn.”
“Of course you would take his side. You’re his sister,” I declared, standing up and walking around the couch to go into the kitchen.
Amani muted the TV and quickly followed me. “Honey, if that’s what you think this is, you’re wrong. Yes, he is my brother, but right is right and wrong is wrong. I wouldn’t side with him because he’s my family. I’m simply speaking the truth. All this happened before he met you. He . . .”
I could no longer hear Amani’s voice. My head ached, and I squeezed my eyes shut to press out the pounding and the pain. I felt myself waver slightly, and I gripped the counter to prevent myself from falling.
Instead, blackness surrounded me briefly before I heard Ethan’s voice.
“How doyou see my role in this child’s life moving forward, Ethan?”
“Baby, you know that you will be a vital part, but there are some things that will be just between Pandora and me. I’ll do everything to make you feel included, but some things I don’t even think you want to be a part of. For instance, I know that Pandora wouldn’t want you in the delivery room and neither would you want to be there. Come on, baby. Let’s not do thistonight. We’ve been through too much, and today has been a very difficult day. She don’t deserve your energy today or any day.”
