“I know, and I’m sorry too. Arguing with you hurts my heart because I love you so much, Deuce. I do want to know what’s on your mind, but I can’t deal with the heavy tonight.”
“Okay, just the basics. I’ve been thinking about everything that you said. Emotions are running high all around that place, not just mine. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need a day or two away from the trial.”
She turned in my lap and stared into my eyes. “I know that it means a lot to you, and I know that you want to show your support. Not being there doesn’t mean that you don’t care. It just means that you’re trying to balance your mental well-being. You’re going to be fine, Deuce.” She kissed me.
“I know you’re right, baby.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her even closer. I kissed her forehead, eyes, nose, and lips before she turned around in my lap again.
She settled in against my chest, and we watched the movie as I allowed peace to ease into my mind and soul. I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve Sevyn, but I was thankful that Godhad allowed her to come into my life. She made sense out of the nonsense.
Last night had beendifficult for Deuce, and it took a lot of patience for me to be supportive of what he needed. It would have been easy, as a woman, to get in my feelings about him grieving another woman. But I refused to allow that kind of energy into my heart.
No matter what he felt about the woman, she was in his past. Besides, it wasn’t like she was someone I had to compete with. But the way that he behaved when it came to her raised plenty of questions in my mind. Not the least of which was, “Was his partner, Lena Ward, the same woman he had loved and lost at some point?” If so, why did he hide that from me?
There was so much that Deuce shared with me. But at times, I felt that he gave me all of him and other times, it felt like hewithheld parts of himself. I wasn’t sure if that was something that I could handle or not. Maybe some things were okay, but if he was withholding any part of his heart, I could not deal with that.
I had freely given him all of me, and though I still grieved my husband’s death, I had honestly let go of Ethan. I had fought too long to share the heart of a man with another woman. I wasn’t about to go down that road again. When I thought about the fact that I would never fully have Ethan to myself as long as his mother had a say in his life, and she did, because he lived to please her and his father, then I was able to let go.
Yes, I missed him. Yes, I mourned his death. Yes, I hated that I didn’t even get to say goodbye, but I was still alive, and I was determined to live my life. It was horrible that he had to die for both of us to be free. That wasn’t something that I wished for him, but the reality was, he was gone.
Deuce would have to come to the same realization about his partner. Or maybe she was more than that. We had fallen asleep in the fort last night, but somewhere in the middle of the night, he had picked me up and taken me to his bed.
I stretched and yawned and snuggled closer to him. He rubbed his hand up and down my back. I could tell that he was mostly still asleep based on the way his mouth hung partly open and the morning wood that tented his underwear.
I reached down and cupped it slowly but lovingly stroking my man’s erection. A smile danced across my lips when I thought about that. Ours was not a traditional relationship. We had not met out on the streets and started dating each other.
He had been at the scene of my accident, and he had remained by my side throughout my time in the hospital. A smile curved my lips as I thought about how romantic that was. We had never truly discussed that. I wasn’t sure if he was the firstone on the scene or just another responding officer, but I was grateful that he had been there.
I slipped under the covers and positioned myself between his legs. He shifted slightly and muttered something in his sleep. I reached inside the little pocket of his boxer briefs and tugged his penis free.
Thick, heavy, and long, he was ready for what I wanted to give him. I slid my tongue over the slit in the head of his dick. He moaned and muttered something under his breath. Smirking, I did it again before reaching up and cupping his balls.
I massaged them through the satiny material of his underwear, and Deuce groaned and shifted again. His knee almost caught me in the side of my head, but I moved to the side just in time. I loved him, and there wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t do to bring him happiness.
My love and affection for him had nothing to do with the loyalty and devotion he had shown me while I was in the coma. It formed after the coma, as I got to know him as a man. I saw the beauty in his relationship with his family, friends, and some of his fellow officers. I saw his passion in giving to those less fortunate when he participated in fundraisers that I accompanied him to.
Every day when he came home and talked about his job, he showed his commitment to his career and the people in his community. That badge meant everything to him, and he wasn’t a crooked cop either. Matter of fact, he had no respect for those who were.
I loved when he sang off-key in the shower, when he danced while he cooked our meals, and how detail-oriented he was about cleaning. I was in awe of how he remembered every little detail about me, and he used that knowledge to do things that would honor me.
Deuce was a good man, and I didn’t want to lose him, no matter what his past held. I slowly lowered my head as I widened my mouth to take more of him in. He was slick and salty, and I loved how he tasted in my mouth.
Careful not to scrape my teeth against his skin as he grew more rigid, I sucked more and more of him to the back of my throat before I pulled him out again. I licked a trail underneath his shaft, and when I put him in my mouth again, he gripped the top of my head with one large hand.
“Ohhh, Sevyn.” He groaned his pleasure as I sank and rose repeatedly. He gripped my head with his other hand, and before I knew it, he was fully awake. He flipped me onto my back and fucked my throat until it felt raw. I didn’t mind though. I would give him everything he asked, whenever he wanted to, because he deserved it.
Just when I thought he was about to cum, he pulled out of my mouth and tugged me back up the bed. I rested my head on my pillow while he tugged my panties off and pulled my coral satin chemise up my body and over my head.
I tossed it onto the floor, and Deuce lifted my legs over the crook of his arms. He slid into me and fit so perfectly. Somehow, we had never discussed STD tests or anything. We just started having unprotected sex out of the blue. The oddity of that was that wasn’t something I would have done in the past. I always made a big deal out of Ethan protecting me and then getting tested before we had unprotected sex. But once I learned that my husband was still having sex with his ex, no amount of tests could get me to have unprotected sex with him. Until the day he died, whenever we had sex, it was always protected.
For some reason, I didn’t feel the need to exercise that same precaution with Deuce. He made me feel like I could trust him implicitly. At some point, when I had discussed my marriage with him before we had sex, I had mentioned that I always usedprotection with Ethan. I guess that was why he openly trusted me not to give him anything.
I knew that it was reckless behavior, but I also knew deep inside that it wasn’t a decision that I would ever regret. He dug into me deep until I could feel his testicles pressed against me. He used his arms, spreading my legs out wide, to open me up to him.
It felt as if every orifice would split. Deuce worked a finger inside of my ass as he continued thrusting deep into me. The way that he held me gave him complete control. It was difficult for me to move or push him out if he went too deep.
My ass and lower back were off the bed, and I rested on my shoulders. He controlled every movement I made as he navigated us toward a powerful orgasm. Just when we were on the precipice of release, he pulled all the way back.
Laying on his side, he pulled me onto mine and hooked one of my legs over his hip. He carefully guided his erection inside of me. I bit my bottom lip as he stared into my eyes. There was something so intense and intimate about the way that he looked at me.
