“How do you know that?” I ask, confused. “She seems pretty jealous to me.”
“I saw her the other day. Not with Calum.Anotherone.” He says harshly. “Am I that easily replaceable?” He’s doubting himself. He doesn’t do that. Jake West doesn’t doubt himself. Never. An occasional humble moment, rarely, but this. This isbad. This is really,reallybad.
“First of all,stopwith that self-deprecating crap, because you know you’re not replaceable, and second, they could be talking. Just because she was with a boy, it doesn’t mean-” I cut myself. Even I don’t believe what I’m saying.
“Oh, they were using their mouths alright.” Jake scoffs. Oh. “I can’t believe she’s doing this to me.” He whispers, sitting down on a chair, shaking his leg up and down.
Yes, Jake hooks up with girls all throughout the school year, and so does Amanda. But for the longest years of their lives, they always come back to each other in the summer, in some kind of weird agreement that they’re each other’s person for that period in time. And in that sense, Amanda disrespected their agreement, and Jake is definitely not her person, right now.
Ireallywish Riden could be here right now. He knows Jake better than I do. And it’s not like I can magically put up a movie theater on the beach and put on Revenge of the Sith for him.
An idea goes through my mind. And before I can cringe myself out, I come close to him, grab his neck, and place his cheek against mine, my fingers lingering on his face. I move my arm around him, but never leave his cheek.
“I know this is weird, shut up, I’m trying.” I squeeze out, embarrassed.
We’re literally cheek to cheek, and it doesn’t even make sense. My hand feels weird with no purpose, so hesitantly I lay it on his chest. I feel his heart thumping beneath my palm, and it’s the most raw thing we’ve ever done. I can feel it accelerate and then slow down. I can feel his breath hitch and then release. I can feelhim. What makes him able to make jokes and laugh. But also cry and have earnest moments. What makes him work and live as a human being.
My world stops for a few seconds, and I can’t bear to get my next words out, because even though I’m comforting him, I’ve never been this emotionally aware around someone.
“I know how you can get her back.” I close my eyes and force my fingers not to curl around his hoodie. “Since she’s Patrick’s cousin, she has to be at the wedding.”
Yes, they’re cousins on her mother’s side. It doesn’t look like it, since they’re the complete opposite of each other physically, and Patrick is a decent human being, and Amanda is sent by Hades to destroy peace on Earth.
“Andweare going to take this to the next level.” I continue. “I’m talking lovey dovey, disgusting eye contact, clinginess, and sweet talking. Preferably in her face or when she’s nearby.”
“Okay.” He quietly responds.
Truth is, I can’t deny it anymore, even if I tried. Ilikehim. And letting him go will be one of the most painful things that has happened to me in a while. It’s going to be a punch in the stomach when they start dating again.
But at least I am not falling in love with him. In that case, it would be much worse.
30
The Boys Are Back in Town
You know, as someone who stays under the radar during her high school years, I will never understand the concept of teenage boys walking out of a room in unintentional slow motion with Rihanna blasting through invisible speakers. Or in this case, out of a car and into Jake’s garden and the whole street.
I’m not spying or anything. I’m already here because I’m hanging out by the pool with Allison, and spilling everything about how Amanda and Jake are about to be a thing again.
“Jesus, I feel like I’m cheating on Tanner just by looking.” Allison mutters while the boys get one by one out of the car.
Graham gets out first, his polo that must cost more than my apartment wrapped around his shoulders. Then Riden, his fingers going through his almost white blonde hair, and then Aaron, who’s smoking with one hand and getting his bag out of the car with the other. And then there’s Jake. Like the nutcase heis, he’sstillholding on to the wheel while rapping Jay-Z’s part inTalk That Talk. And somehow I’m more attracted than ever.
“Allison, slap me.” I mutter sideways.
She one-ups me and pushes me into the water to then drop beside me.
The contrast of the cold with the heat outside leaves my body in shock. But also, nowadays, there’s not much of anything that can truly shock me;we’re past that.
I stay inside the water for a few seconds, pushing my body to stay inside and feel the cold envelop my face and turn into medium temperature water. I let out a big, slow breath worth of bubbles and then shake my head, allowing my hair to float around me like a mermaid’s. I feel its texture, and when I realize I’m getting out of breath, I return to the surface.
I feel splashes on my face, andLet Me Love You by DJ Snake and Justin Bieberstarts playing through a massive speaker standing near the pool’s side.
I look to the side, and Aaron’s already on top of Alana’s fairy-inspired float, which should not be dismissed because I can tell you that’s the most resisting float I’ve ever seen. But it is still ironic that someone as punk as Aaron is on top of that.
Jake’s friends intimidate me in the same way I would be intimidated by Allison if we weren’t friends. Popular people kind of scare me. On one hand, I think of them as empty-headed people due to my secret-rooted jealousy to be part of their group, but on the other hand, I just think they couldn’t give a shit about me; therefore, we never have that many interactions. Allison does sometimes; their groups cross-match and date each other all the time. But out of all of them, the one who has the nastiest reputation is Aaron, who, surprisingly, is the one who intimidates me the least. I respect him and the fact that he was also adopted by extroverts who live to party and for girls.
“You should cut out his vocal cords.” He remarks and catches me off guard. “Those were the most painful 30 minutes of my life, and I was beaten up last year.”
