And a tiny bit of relief catches my breath when I realise I won’t be alone with my depressing thoughts.
I tap the spot next to mine. He looks at me strangely, and I send him a pointed look.
“I don’t bite.”
“Well, I remember…”
“That was one time!” I protest, the tiniest bit of a smile showing.
Yep, I already bit him. What? We were kids! He was going to wet me with a water hose, and he was grabbing me, so I, you know, bit him.
“Okay, okay…” But he sends me a suspicious look. I roll my eyes. He sits next to me, and I start to speak:
“How did this start?”
“We were in the library, and you confessed your adoration for me. You wouldn’t be the first one.” He says, grinning, and I snort.
“Something more realistic, if you will?” I arch an eyebrow.
“Hey, it doesn’t have to be adoration. It can be dying passion.” He mocks casually.
“West, I’m serious!” I smack his arm.
“Fine…” Jake looks into my eyes, and a warm feeling washes over me. I hate that strange look.
“Uh! I know!” I break his gaze. “We were in the library the next day you saw Amanda with what’s his name, and we talked and understood each other well, and for the first time ever we weren’t fighting, so we gave it a chance.”
“That seems good. I’m glad all those romance books and movies had any use in that head of yours.” I just look at him, dumbfounded, and then lie on the blanket and start to look at the stars.
“So what’s your fascination with stargazing?” He asks laying down too.
“I don’t know. I guess I feel calm when I look at the stars. It’s one of the things I can sleep with, without sleeping pills.”
“Oh yes. That alarm the other day, was it for that? Sleeping pills?”
“Yes.” I say distant. I’m a very pensive person, and at night my head just doesn’t stop thinking. I only manage to fall asleep under the stars or embraced with my family. So I guess with things that I love.
“Why do you need them?”
“Why do you care?” I ask back briskly. It’s bad enough we have to date, let alone reveal my inner thoughts.
“Just curious.” He responds, calm, as if I wasn’t an idiot just now to him. “Whatever the reason is, I’m sorry for that.”
“Why are you being nice?” I ask, getting deja vu from years ago.
“I’m preparing myself for the upcoming days. I mean, we really are going to appear to be-In love.” He hesitates on the words, surely because he never felt it. I haven’t either. “I guess we have to make an effort to get along.” His voice breaks through the darkness.
“In the streets and in front of relatives. Don’t even think I’m going to go easy on you when we’re alone.” I laugh, already enjoying the upcoming remarks.
“If we ever get the chance to be alone, someone is going to die.” He dramatically says, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Can’t say it was nice knowing you.” I shrug mockingly.
“Same.” Pause. “So, did you ever find a constellation, or are all these years stargazing just for show?”
“I actually do know.” One. I mentally reveal. He doesn’t have to know that. I roll my eyes and speak in annoyance.
“Ursa Major was the first one I found.” I say, my eyes traveling to the said constellation.
