Highschool Sweethaters
“Look who it is.” Jake West is balancing and throwing a small sponge ball from one hand to the other, lying on his bed, as he knows better.
“I hate you.”
“Yet, here you are. So, do we have a deal?”
I stare at his mischievous hazel eyes and his devil smile, and I need to answer before I can change my mind. Like I did this morning. Three times. Allison literally kicked me out.
“Yes.” The word feels strange in my mouth, and I articulate it like so.
“Wow, seeing you struggle like that. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He wipes a fake tear, and I feel my veins getting more dilated from all the blood burning from hatred.
“I’m sorry for the person who’s gonna end up with you.”
“Ah, the self-pity.”
I humph triumphantly and then catch what he just said.
“What?”
A smirk grows larger on his face as does the shade on my cheeks, and hewinks.
“You stop that!” I groan loudly, and he just sits there, viciously smiling, and I get out of this Manwhoric room.
As soon as I’m stepping out, he speaks louder.
“Please close the door, girlfriend!”
I stop and, feeling like my heart could explode from such anger, I go to his door frame, and since I left the door halfway open, I open it even more.
“That’s just rude!” He shouts as I leave his room, calming myself and repeating,He’s not worth it. That’s a brief summary of my interactions with him and, honestly, my life.
* * *
Talking with the stars reassures me I’m not going crazy. Allison is long gone asleep, and it’s fair since it’s 3 AM. I didn’t bring myself to take a pill today, so I’m just lying with the stars and really thinking if it’s worth it.
I’m playing with the long-distance flashlight and pointing it randomly at spots, avoiding windows from my house, not caring so much about pointing it at a certain someone’s window. Hedefinitelydeservesthat.
The flashlight is a good distraction from my inner thoughts because when I’m alone with them, it can go from light to dark really fast. Most of the time, I replay my mum leaving, and it causes me tiny anxiety. Okay, tinybiganxiety.
I wish I’d run after her. At least say goodbye. Those are the things I feed myself ever since she left. I wasn’t that young whenshe left because I was old enough to remember all the good times with her. Sometimes I feel guilty because I wish I were Lindsey and didn’t mostly remember her. It pains my heart to even think about it.
I feel light in my eyes, and it’s not coming frommyflashlight.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He rhetorically asks, and I close my eyes, my depressive thoughts leaving me and being replaced by murderous ones.
“Just go away.” I push him, and for a moment there, I really thought it worked. Of course it didn’t, but a girl can still dream.
“Is that the way to greet your new boyfriend?”
I feel my breath heavy and a lot of regret coming from my insides. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t know…”
My jaw drops open. He did not.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I support myself on my elbows, and my eyes glare at him.
He is still holding himself over the fence, and I sure hope he doesn’t come any closer, or something bad is gonna happen. It always does. Besides, nothing good can come of a hopeless romantic having late-night talks with a gorgeous next-door boy.
