The summer heat hits me in the face just like his smile did.
Why did that happen? I’ve seen that smile a couple of hundred times, more than I can count, and usually at several other girls. It’s like a drug, but I have never taken an interest…
Huh…Yet another thing to overthink tonight…
As soon as I set foot inside the house, I feel myself getting dragged upstairs.
“It’s makeover time!”
“Oh no…” I don’t know why I argue. I end up beautiful from Allison’s makeovers, but I guess I’m too stubborn.
My dad says I get it from my mother. The last thing I want is to be compared toher. I’m confident about everything except her. When someone mentions her, I turn tense and feel so much hate with the tiniest bit of love inside. After all, she abandoned us when I was nine and when Lindsey was just three… One day I was in the living room with my sister, and the next thing I knew, my mother, who was talking with my dad in the kitchen, came to us and saidgoodbyeand left. That’s why I hate being stubborn, I hate having a short temper, I hate my natural waves in my hair, and lastly, I hate how these are the only things I have to remember her by. I burned and cut all the photos that existed in the house with her face. I got scared that my dad would be mad at me, but instead he made me promise that I wouldn’t do that again and hugged me. And then I had amassivemeltdown.
Allison noticed my face and knew exactly what I was thinking about.
“Mads… I’m sorry, you said you didn’t want makeup-”
“It’s fine.”
I decide to push my feelings aside. I’ve been doing this sincethemeltdown, and that happened one month after she left. Haven’t cried about her ever since, and I’m glad I managed to stay away from my feelings.
Alls is worried and keeps looking at me the whole time with an apologetic look.
“Can you pass me the straightener?” I press a smile with my lips, and she nods reluctantly.
Off with the waves… Just like every day since I was nine.
Allison leaves me alone, making up the excuse of having to go tell my dad something, but really, she knows I need my alone time right now.
As the iron flattens my hair, I feel my eyes overflowing.
Don’t cry because it happened, smile because it’s over, right?
I look up, stopping my eyes from watering even more.
This is not the mentality for tonight. Tonight is about having fun! And putting yourself out there! Yay…
I bring myself downstairs and walk into my dad’s and Allison’s hushed conversation. I don’t have time to ask them about it because my dad’s hand flies to his mouth.
“Oh Maddie…”
“Dad, stop, come on…” I look down, embarrassed. “Stop making it a big deal, I’m going now.” I move to the door, so I don’t have to see my dad crying.
“I’m okay, Maddie, come back!”
I return just to see exactly what I was afraid of.That look.
“You look…” Like her, I can see it in his eyes. “Beautiful, honey.” He ends up saying.
“Thanks, Dad. I think we should be going… Alls?” She gets herself off the chair, sensing the undertone between us.
“No drinking, no coming too late, and lastly, have fun.”
“Bye, Mr. B!” Allison responds, and we get out of the door. We reach the gate and find the boys already waiting on the other side.
“Howdy, y’all ready for somefun?” Allison shouts in the most exaggerated southern accent ever.
“Again, we’re still in New Jersey.” I add from behind her.
