“That was a horrible suggestion…”
He laughs that hypnotizing laugh of his, and I force myself to stop looking at him.
“I wasn’t expecting you to admit I’m right… But in my opinion, you nailed it.” He speaks truthfully, and I trip over a chair while hurrying to get back to the books.
“Thanks…” I spit out as if the words are gonna bite me.
“Even though you were a little shaky there at the end.”
“Ofcourse...” I throw him a book, which he catches easily.
I take a deep breath and shake my head.
“I can do this…” I whisper to myself.
“Am I that insufferable?” He teases, and I hold back the tears ready to come out.
“Yes. I don’t even know how anyone can stand you for more than five minutes.” I briskly say, and he flinches a bit.
I’m very insecure about my singing. It’s one of the only things I’m good at, and if I expose it to someone and they tell me otherwise… It’s one less thing about me I have faith in.
We spent the rest of the evening pretty silent with each other. He wouldn’t look at me, nor I at him. When our shift is finally over, I move to get out of the library quickly. I don’t look back for him, and the whole way home, I feel myself going into my shell.
We dine, Allison tries to figure out what happened, I feel like I’m overreacting, and then we eventually go to bed early. I mean, she goes to bed early. I “sneak out” to stargaze.
Since I was a kid, stargazing has been my favorite activity. I would wait until the light in my parents’ bedroom turned off and sneak to the garden and stargaze until I fell asleep. The stars are always there, and when I look at them, I remember how small our problems really are.
My phone buzzes beside me on the grass.
Urgh, it’s West.
Evil Spawn
Evil Spawn: *video*
Evil Spawn: one thing checked out of the never list right?
I get up, shocked. Offucking coursehe recorded me…
Me: YOU RECORDED ME?!
Me: This is why I don’t trust you
Wait. The never list?
Me: How do you remember it’s part of the never list??
Evil Spawn: that’s not the point…
Evil Spawn: the point is, I’ve found my new favorite lullaby to fall asleep to ;)
Me: Is this your way of making up for the fact that you recorded me and almost made me cry this afternoon?
Evil Spawn: Maybe…
Me: That’s not an apology
Evil Spawn: the day we start apologizing to each other, is the day we’ve absolutely lost our shit
