In the meantime, Jake’s friends came back for the game and his birthday party the following week.
“So, how are you doing?” Emily shouts over all the noise.
“Better.” I bite my lip, unsure. “Thanks. For everything.”
She throws me the biggest mom-smile, almost crying, and opens her arms for a hug. Of course, I take it.
“I don’t want to pry, but what happened? Between you two?” She holds my face.
Oh, here comes the emotions…
“I wasn’t brave enough to let someone all the way in.” I catch my breath, ashamed to say it out loud.
All of a sudden, everyone goes wild when the players walk in. Jake walks in, the tips of my lips go up, and I clap, and so does Emily, who didn’t say anything after me.
He runs backwards, holding his helmet, and looks for someone in the crowd. He sees his mom and waves, and then catches me and winks, which makes my insides explode.
Allison was grabbing snacks but stopped by the sidelines to speak with Riden. Joey and Dad join us by sitting in front of us.
After a couple of minutes, the game starts, and I’m super focused when Emily comes close to me and searches for my eyes.
“I think you sell yourself short because the girl I know stands up for anyone who needs help. She drops everything she’s doing to help out a friend and has been putting her dad and sister before her own needs for eight years. She sang Elton John in front of a whole town and has been holding my son accountable his whole life. But unfortunately, she doesn’t have the same sort of consideration for herself.”
That hits me right in my heart and punches a tear out of my eyes. I wipe it right away, and she places her arm around me.
“I’m not telling you this because he’s my son. I’m telling you this because I’d like to think of you as my second daughter. And after what you had to endure, you deserve more than anyone to be happy. And sure, some people just don’t like relationships and all the work they’re worth… But you’re not one of those people, are you, Maddie?”
I always observed love from afar. I made jokes about princes when I was younger, and about marrying the perfect man when I was older. But I didn’t believe it, not really, because I didn’t believe that it was made for someone like me. Even though I loved hearing about it, I somehow wasn’t cut out for it. I spent so many years convincing myself it would never happen for me that I actually started to believe it. But Jake is living proof that I wasn’t. He sees me for something other than a bitter, broken antisocial girl. He sees me as a multifaceted, human, introverted girl. He has so much faith in me that he makes me feel like I’ll see myself more kindly someday.He pisses me off, but somehow makes me the best version of myself when I’m with him. The version I would be proud to show little Madelaine. And isn’t that what healthy relationships are all about? Bringing out the best in each other and making the other want to be better every day?
I know it’s impossible for him to do all the work, when only I have the tools to do it myself, but I love that he makes me want to pick them up and believe I can heal myself. And why wouldn’t I want to be with someone like that?
I look out into the field and spot his jersey as he’s sprinting across the field.
“I’m afraid I’ll do more hurt than good.” I exhale, and she scoffs.
“Maddie, the fact that you’re worried about that already tells me you won’t.” She holds my eyes, and it’s like she’s promising. “But just so you know, when love’s involved, it’s impossible to go through it unscathed. It is because you love them so much that it hurts the most. But you work through it because when you find someone who feels likehome, you hold on to them and youfightfor them. And you, Madelaine, are a fighter if I’ve ever seen one.”
It’s like I’ve been sleeping for so long, and she just slapped me awake.
My eyes track him down on the field, and by the commotion around me, they just scored against the opposite team. I’m smiling and don’t even realize it.
“Trent is pouting in the first row with a black eye.” Allison giggles, passing me Frenchfries.
“Jake did that.” I say to her without Emily hearing.
“What?!” Her mouth drops wide open, and I nod. “Go get your man.” She comments, stuffing her mouth with powdered Doritos.
It’s in that moment that someone from the other team crashes into Jake.
“THAT’S A FOUL YOU ASSHOLE!” It comes out of me before I can stop it.
Mind you,I don’t even know the rules of football.
Emily, Joey, Dad, and Allison are staring at me, and I’m frozen, wide-eyed, and slap my hand against my mouth.
Joey shrugs and nods as if he respects me even more. My dad pretends to be mad that I said asshole and Emily starts laughing.
“Surprisingly enough, you’reright, that wasa clear foul!” Allison ends up shouting, too, and I laugh.
