I stare him down, the elephant in the room — mom — obviously staring at us.
“Ipromise.”
I hug him, and he squeezes me.
“You’re so strong, Dad.”
Really, I don’t know how he did it. The emotions I felt for an hour, he has been feeling for eight years. Eight years of torture.
But she pulled through.Maybe. Maybe she’s listening, maybe she’s not, but the bottom line is he’s okay. And I kind oflike the idea that she can hear me, even if that makes me batshit crazy.
“Thanks.” He squeezes me tighter and then looks at me, hiding a smile. “You can visit him.”
My eyes light up, and then guilt washes over me.
I dismissed him as if he meant nothing to me last time we spoke. At the party.
I bite my lip as I slowly get up and round the corner, barely able to look at Joey and Emily, who are coming from his room.
That doesn’t stop Emily from speaking to me kindly.
“Riden’s in there, but then you can go, if you want.” She hesitates and then throws her arms around me. “Thank you for caring for him. I appreciate you so much, sweet girl.” She hugs me tight, and I feel my stomach being punched with guilt.
I fought with him and then did nothing to stop him from being on that bike.
When I open my eyes, I catch Amanda’s eyes from across the hall, sitting in front of Jake’s room.
Emily lets me go, and I approach his room carefully.
I then decide to sit beside her, and she laughs bitterly.
“I never stood a chance.”
“Excuse me?”
“Against you. With him.” She half smiles while looking at the wall.
“Amanda, I swear I didn’t- He didn’t-Nothinghappened while you were together.”
“I know.” She purses her lips. “I mean, I think I always knew. You were like a ghost haunting our relationship. And I don’t think he was evenaware.” She smiles ironically, a tear starting to fall down her angelic skin. She wipes it with her finger, trying not to ruin her makeup. “But it was obvious. And exhausting. I was so bitter all the time, becausewho can compete with Madelaine Brown?”
Now that’s something I never heard.
“I always felt like I was falling short. I didn’t tease him enough, or I teasedtoo much. I didn’t have the right smile, the one that lit him up. Didn’t listen to the right music and didn’t read the same books.” She glances at me and then at the ground. “I’m sorry for everything I ever said to you.”
She’s emotional but doesn’t let more tears fall.
“Thanks. If it makes you feel better, I wish I could treat people nicely. Or fit in and say the right things. I would love to do makeup without looking like a clown and actually put togetherdecentoutfits.”
“Thanks… You know, he punched Trent last night. A couple of times.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he was already fired up because I told him about what he tried with me… But when he saw him grab you… Trent wasdone. Apparently, not for the first time either.”
Blade.
“I’m glad he woke up and realized we were both wasting our time.” She shrugs, and I don’t say anything.
