“Brandon told Helena we're not together anymore,” I say, my voice cracking slightly. “After we… God, maybe I'm terrible in bed. Maybe he realized he doesn't actually want me, and now he's trying to figure out how to let me down easy.”
“Wait. Hold up.” Natalie leans forward. “You and Brandon slept together?”
I nod miserably. “Last night. And the night before. And this morning. It was incredible, Natalie. Like everything-I-didn't-know-I-was-missing incredible. But then he goes and tells Helena Voss that we're just friends? That we're not together?”
“Tell me who Helena is.”
“She's this director he's trying to work with. And she's gorgeous, by the way. And successful. And probably closer to his age than I am.” I can hear my voice getting higher, more frantic. “Maybe he realized he could do better. Maybe he was just being nice because we were fake dating and things got out of hand.”
“Stella—”
“I should have known better,” I continue, the words pouring out like a dam has burst. “Brandon doesn't do relationships. He's told me that himself. He keeps things casual, keeps things fun. And here I am, catching feelings like some pathetic?—”
“Stop.” Natalie's voice cuts through my rambling. “Just stop for a second and breathe.”
I take a shaky breath.
“Now, tell me exactly what happened. From the beginning.”
I tell her everything. About Brandon and me. And then about Ava's casual bomb that Brandon told Helena we weren't together anymore.
“And you haven't talked to him about this?” Natalie asks when I finish.
“How can I? What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, I heard through the Hollywood grapevine that you told someone we're not dating. Was last night just a pity fuck?'“
“First of all, stop calling yourself pathetic and stop assuming the worst. You're spiraling.” Natalie stands. “Second, this calls for wine. You're staying at my place tonight so we can properly analyze this situation without you torturing yourself alone.”
My phone buzzes on my desk. Brandon's name flashes on the screen.
“Don't answer that yet,” Natalie says, reading over my shoulder as I pick it up.
Brandon
Hey, want to hang out tonight? Have to get to bed early for an early call tomorrow, but we could grab dinner or just watch something?
My heart does that stupid flutter thing it always does when I see his name, even though I'm furious, hurt, and confused.
“What do I say?” I ask Natalie.
“Something neutral that buys you time to think.”
Stella
Natalie just walked in with a girlfriend crisis and will probably be late. Catch up tomorrow?
Brandon
Definitely tomorrow. Have fun with the girl talk and sleep well.
I stare at the simple message, looking for hidden meaning that probably isn't there.
“Come on,” Natalie says, grabbing my purse from behind my desk. “Let's go get wine and figure out what's really going on here. Because I have a feeling this is all a big misunderstanding.”
I hope she's right. But right now, it feels like my heart is breaking.
thirty-four
. . .
