Throwing back the drapes at one end of the room, he allowed the sunlight to illuminate the clean and tidy space. His gaze found the trunk easily, and a shudder passed through him as he remembered the last time he’d opened it.
He’d nearly lost her forever. Shaking his head, he pushed back the morbid thought and lifted the lid.
Natalie’s blood tore at him as he gazed down at the stained and torn wedding gown. He pushed it aside and then scratched around the bottom of the container to collect the papers. As he pulled them together, forming a stack, an envelope fell to the floor at his feet.
On the envelope, no name had been written, only the wordsMy Dearest Childin feminine, flowing letters. It was the same handwriting his mother used to sign her name on her paintings.
My Dearest Child. That was him. Another letter!
Garrett closed the trunk and sat down upon its lid. Reaching down, he discarded the drawings for the moment and lifted the second ominous letter he’d held in his hands within the past hour. He broke the seal and took a deep breath.
To my child,
I do not know you yet. You are still in my womb. If you are reading this now, then you have reached your majority and are either a strapping young man or a lovely young woman, possibly married by now. I hope to watch you grow but am doubtful I will survive childbirth. I am focusing all my strength upon bringing you into this world, but I despair of having enough for both of us.
Nonetheless, I cannot go to the grave without making the truth of your parentage known to you. God help me, Lord Hawthorne is not your father. I do not believe he suspects this fact, and I am hopeful he treats you as he would a child of his own.
Please do not hate me. Your real papa, Mr. Arthur Winters, and I had every intention of marrying, even before we knew of your existence. Your father was charming, tender of heart, well-read, and clever, but alas, he lacked ruthlessness and was killed in a duel. I was forced to marry Lord Hawthorne a few days afterward.
I hope this information is not a burden, but I have concerns that Lord Hawthorne is not of sound mind. He frightens me, and I want you to be able to face your life without believing you are blood relations with one such as he. I am so very sorry I have not been with you for your childhood. I pray protection over you.
But above all else, I want you to know that you are loved. Please know of my love for you and that of your papa’s so you may have something of us with you forever.
Find happiness, my dear,
Your mama, Lady Cordelia Castleton
It was true, then.
Garrett folded the letter, replaced it in the envelope, and gathered the drawings together. He didn’t waste any more time in the stifling room. He needed to get outside. This was too much. He felt as though ghosts were speaking to him from the past—ghosts he’d believed to be long gone.
Upon reaching the main floor, Garrett stashed the papers in his desk and, almost without thinking, struck out for thestables. There, he breathed in the familiar smells of hay and animal as he strode to Rumble. His faithful mount welcomed him with a bob of his head. Seeking comfort for himself, Garrett stroked the coarse black hair of his horse’s neck and back. Rumble reached around his head to nuzzle him. Burying his face against Rumble, Garrett absorbed the horse’s calm. After a few moments, he finally saddled up. They would ride. He didn’t know where or for how long, but together they would ride.
And then later, he would deal with it all.
AFTER TEN DAYS
After ten days, Garrett had not written to Natalie with any sort of personal response. He had contacted her father, however, with legal questions and to obtain further verification of his parentage. He’d also promised her father to discuss marriage contracts once in London. It was her father who informed her that Garrett had scheduled the wedding and the banns were set to be read.
But she had no idea as to what Garrett was feeling, what he was thinking. And the not-knowing was killing her! Did he hate her for this? Would he follow through with the wedding? Of course, he would, but really,would he? She and her mother had addressed and sent hundreds of invitations, ordered masses of flowers, a fashionable gown, and planned a lavish wedding breakfast. The gown would be altered after a final fitting once they arrived in London.
All the planning in the world couldn’t ensure a happy marriage if he resented her now.
Did he miss her, even the tiniest little bit?
Shemissedhim.
How had she come to rely upon his friendship, his nearness,in so short a time as they’d had together? How had it occurred that his presence in her life gave it new meaning? She wished he would write to her. She wished even more that he would visit her at Raven’s Park before summer’s end.
He did neither.
Was he punishing her? That must be his reason. He must be very angry with her. She’d taken away his choices—his choices and his freedom. Oh, but she hoped she was doing the right thing, for both of their sakes.
When the time came to leave for London, Natalie’s emotions were as brittle as a dried rose. Climbing into the carriage with her mother, she glanced down to see her hand shaking. She could barely untie her bonnet. And they had not even left Raven’s Park yet.
They could have completed the journey in one day but had decided to travel at a leisurely pace and stop for the night at an inn. It was an unnecessary delay, but Natalie had been unable to convince her mother to forgo it.
Darlington and Stone were already in London, having left the week before, but Father and Peter rode mounts alongside the carriage. Natalie suspected Peter would become impatient and ride ahead before they passed through the local village. The large entourage of coaches carrying baggage and servants followed at an even slower pace. Oh, if only one could fly!
