She’d also wanted, God preserve them all, to help him! She wanted tosave himfrom himself. On the very day of his arrival, she’d taken steps to redeem him so he could return to society. She’d even found him a valet, for God’s sake. She’d taken to him as though he were a stray pup, much as she’d taken to Baby Bear. She wished to soothe his wounds and wash away his past with her love.
How long could such feelings last? How much pain and hurt could her pitying love endure?
For pain and hurt would be her lot if she married him.
Her infatuation would not endure being tied to a husband who could not—would not—give her a child. An even worse scenario would be the birth of a child who was not of sound mind.
For he knew himself. Caught up in the throes of passion, he could easily release his seed too quickly. All it would take would be one time. God, what a mess that would be.
And what of her life in society? That would be over. As his wife, she would be painted with the same taint of scandal that had followed him throughout all England. For what woman in her right mind would knowingly marry a man with insanity in his blood? There would be no invitations to attend the various balls and parties she’d presided over throughout the previous two years. She would no longer be welcome in the drawing rooms of persons she considered to be her friends. They couldnot stroll through Hyde Park during the fashionable hour, for it would be too painful to feel the cut direct as face after face turned away from her. Garrett could not bear to see her scorned.
Five days into her recovery,both Lord and Lady Ravensdale arrived at Maple Hall. They arrived with outriders in full livery and a battalion of personal servants. The countess brought her lady’s maid, and Mr. Whipple attended the earl.
Garrett had known the party would be arriving and had just managed to set up lodgings for the entire entourage. The bedchamber beside Garrett’s, where Lady Natalie slept, had been cleaned, aired, and the bed fitted with new linen. Garrett hoped the couple would not have misgivings about sharing a bed. There simply wasn’t another available.
Wasting no time after alighting from their conveyance, the countess excused herself to check on her daughter.
Lord Ravensdale requested a private word with Garrett.
Ah, another inquisition. The screws were to be tightened even further. Garrett steeled himself.
The earl was forthright. “Darlington tells me you do not wish to marry my daughter, in defiance of the fact that you have compromised her.”
Good God! Must he rehearse this conversation again? Of course. And he must be most convincing of all today.
“It is not a matter of what I wish,” Garrett began. “There are other avenues that can and should be explored before forcing her into an unsuitable marriage.” Garrett spoke with conviction. “I am surprised you are not in full agreement with me. You, more than anyone, know that an alliance with the Earl of Hawthorne places your daughter in an altogether different public scorn. One which will never be forgiven.” Looking at theman directly, Garrett was forced to reveal he’d overheard the man’s words to his daughter just a short time ago. “You allowed my presence in your home as a concession to the assistance I’ve given you in business. You said you would not want a degenerate such as myself to be anywhere near your daughter.” Garrett looked down at his hands. “You were right in such an opinion.”
“Natalie told you this?” Ravensdale’s brows lowered into a stern frown. “I cannot believe my daughter would share this information with you.”
Garrett sighed. “She did not, my lord.” Looking up wearily, he confessed to eavesdropping. “I came to see you before I left Raven’s Park. The door to your study was open, and I overheard you scolding Natalie, Lady Natalie, that is, to keep away from me.” When the earl went to interrupt him, Garrett held up a hand and continued. “I did not then, nor do I now, find fault in your judgment. That is why I am surprised you persist with this notion of a betrothal. You could send her on holiday to the Continent. Hell, she could go to America. It would just have to be for a year or two. Thetonwill forget this. They are fickle about these matters, and you know it as well as I.”
The earl stared down at his boots. “I did not mean you to hear those words, my boy.”
“Nonetheless, they were words of wisdom.” And then Garrett felt the need to add, “It is not that I wouldn’t treasure your daughter as my countess, as my wife, but she would come out the worse for it.” He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. “If your family decides marriage is the only thing to save her, you have my word I will meet her at the altar and give her my name. But first I insist you take her home, allow her a measure of peace before forcing her into a decision. Marriage is not to be entered into hastily. It is for life.”
The earl studied Garrett closely. “And if she insists on marriage, you will abide by her decision?”
She wouldn’t. He would not allow it. “I will. The doctor has said she may travel in a day or so. I apologize for the rudimentary accommodations here, but you and the countess are welcome to stay as long as you wish.”But take your daughter with you soon, please.He could only endure so much.
NATALIE REMEMBERED
Natalie remembered almost everything leading to her arrival at Maple Hall. Everything, that is, except for why she climbed into the trunk. She’d not been following Lord Hawthorne. She’d acted most inappropriately with Garrett, she admitted to herself, but she was not such a hoyden as to stow away in his trunk. Good heavens! She hoped not, anyhow.
Her headaches had subsided to a dull annoying pinch now and then. The bouts of nausea were gone, and she could think more clearly.
And her new maid, Sissy, whom Natalie would never relinquish willingly, had proven quite capable at creating the latest styles in “her ladyship’s” hair. Sissy insisted the designs were fresh from Paris. A cousin of hers worked as lady’s maid to a very modern French lady, and she’d shared many of her secrets with Sissy.
Unfortunately, Natalie was still restricted to bed rest and forced to remain in nothing more colorful or inspiring than the housekeeper’s borrowed nightclothes. Her mother had brought day clothing for her to wear, but in the rush, Tinsdalehad failed to pack any of her nightgowns. Nonetheless, she was grateful to Sissy for keeping her hair stylish and presentable. It lifted her spirits considerably.
As could a certain handsome gentleman visitor.
When he chose to grace her with his presence, that was.
She had been certain, upon reflecting on his treatment of her during the first few days following her injury, that he loved her. He’d been tender and sweet, treating her as though she were the most important person in the world. His voice had whispered soothing reassurances into her ear, and his hands had been gentle as they caressed her hair and face. And when she’d begun to show signs of mending, he’d ordered her not to overtax herself. He’d been quite protective, in fact.
But his demeanor had changed. As she recovered, his visits grew farther and farther apart.
Which disturbed her, to say the least. Especially in light of the fact that she loved him.
