It was unusual for the earl not to think the entire situation through to its natural conclusion, for if he’d done so, he never would have made the suggestion. He would not wish childlessness upon his daughter. Or worse.
Then again, perhaps Garrett had misunderstood the earl that morning.
Likely the earl would call him out if he knew what Garrett had done.
He’d touched her intimately. Had it been a mistake? It had not been all about his own lust, had it? His breath caught. God, but the way she’d moved, the sounds she’d made. Touching her, tasting her, had been better, by far, than he could have imagined. Awakening her passion, seeing Lady Natalie Spencer relax her sensual inhibitions had been a revelation.
In his mind, he replayed their moments together in the meadow. He remembered her eyes, unfocused and fluttering as she relinquished control and moved with him. He remembered the soft moans and cries that escaped her lips, lips that had been his to taste and invade. He remembered the feel of herskin, the silken moisture as he touched her where no one before him had.
Now, she knew some of it.
She knew there ought to be evidence of passion between herself and the one she would eventually marry.
But thinking of some faceless man, not the Duke of Monfort, but a younger, warmer man, touching her, caressing her as he had, left a cold, sick feeling inside him.
He both looked forward to and dreaded spending one last evening in Natalie’s company. He must keep himself away from her. He mustn’t allow his gaze to follow her the entire time. One more evening, and he would be free to set himself to work. And to set himself to forgetting.
Mr. Winston opened the door before Garrett could do so himself. How the devil had the butler known he was there? Looking about, Garrett searched for a small window that Mr. Winston might have used to watch for visitors. “Marcus is awaiting you in your chambers, my lord,” he said. “Dinner is formal this evening.”
Garrett nodded. “I wish to speak with the earl. Is he in his study?”
“He is. Can you find your way, my lord?” Another group of guests had just returned for the day, and they looked to be carrying several items that would need the butler’s attentions.
“Of course, Winston.” Garrett followed the corridor toward the office where he’d met the earl on previous occasions. He’d personally inform the earl he was leaving the next morning. And thank him for his hospitality. He would not be asking permission to court his daughter. He would not.
As he neared the entry to the study, however, Baby Bear came dashing out, leaving the door ajar. Voices carried outward into the hallway. The sound of his own name stopped Garrett from turning and leaving immediately.
“I can only be grateful,” Lord Ravensdale’s voice boomed, “that Garrett Castleton is leaving us tomorrow, young lady.” Was he speaking to Natalie? He must be.“You have shown no regard for propriety where that degenerate is concerned.”
Garrett could barely make out Natalie’s response. “He is not a degenerate…” Garrett’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. She ought not to defend him.
Lord Ravensdale continued, “I have allowed his presence here as a concession to the numerous times he assisted me in business. But I will not have him dallying with my daughter. I will not have him anywhere near my daughter, is that understood, young lady?” Why would he take this up with Natalie? Why did he not call Garrett out on these matters?
“You need not worry on that account, Papa,” she said. Wise girl.
Garrett had obviously been wrong in his interpretation of Lord Ravensdale’s words the morning of the irrigation tour. Even so, it hurt. What exactly had the earl told him just a few days ago? A good lady at his side…Perhaps the lady he needed at his side could be found in the country. Of course, the earl had not been referring to his own daughter! It was just that Garrett had spent so much time thinking about her, he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion.Of course. Garrett felt foolish for voicing his thoughts to Stone. Stone must have felt pity and not wished to embarrass him. He’d been quick to discourage—of course!
But Garrett had begun to believe the Spencers were different from the rest of theton. The rejection left a bitterness in his heart. He was disappointed but also angry with himself for caring.
Damn! He was done with all of it.
Garrett turned on his heel, not wishing to hear anything further, and strode toward his chamber. His time here was over. Tonight promised a full moon. He would leave rightaway. By God, he would not play games with these people any longer.
After being duly chastisedby her father, Natalie was more distraught than before. Unable to face anyone, she asked Tinsdale to tell her mother she would not be attending dinner that evening. She would have a tray brought to her room. She told Tinsdale she’d taken too much sun that afternoon and needed to retire early.
She could not face him.
She had known, yes, she had known about his father, about the insanity. But none of it had stopped her heart from falling in love with him.
And he’d not once admitted to feelings of affection for her. Since that very first night of his arrival, she’d made herself available to him. She’d thought herself so wise, when in fact she’d been quite the idiot. She had thought to experience a thrill, find some excitement for herself. But instead she’d only brought more—no, not more—buttrueheartache upon herself. For she now knew Garrett as a man of sensitivity and honor. He was more than a rake—more than the son of a scandalous murderer—he was flesh and blood male.He was Garrett!
She loved him. She wanted him. She needed him. He would deny all of this.
Perhaps he wanted her—well, no perhaps about it. He’d very obviously wanted her on more than one occasion. Even her limited experience didn’t keep her from knowing that.
But he did not need her. And he did not love her.
Changed into nightclothes, Natalie lay back upon her bed and closed her eyes.
