She should be frightened.
Her hands grasped at the back of his head, pulling him closer. “Yes,” she breathed against his lips. “Yes.”
Very familiar with giving and receiving pleasure from willing females, he knew her body was his for the taking. His own rejoiced, but at the same time, his brain sent up an alarm. This was too easy. This was all wrong. Tapping his last vestiges of self-control, Garrett ripped himself away.
Looking bereft, she hugged herself against the shock of the cool night air. As awareness of his rejection struck her, she shivered. Garrett refrained from apologizing.
Retrieving his jacket from the ground, he ran a trembling hand through his hair. His cravat now dangled round his neck. His eyes looked anywhere but at her. Already, guilt dogged him.
“Why did you stop? What did I do wrong?”
He glanced at her coldly. The control that had snapped inside of him moments before was thankfully back in place. “Youare wrong. Everything about you is wrong!” He gritted his teeth before continuing. “Earlier this afternoon, you implored me to alter my behavior so I could impress your parents’ guests with my fine gentility. You even obtained a valet for me. And now, this evening, you’re ready to lift your skirts like any Drury Lane doxy? What the hell is your game? Are youtryingto drive me crazy?”
He would not await an answer. With those parting words, he turned on his heel and strode away from her. He did not look back.
SHOCKED
Shocked by her own actions, Natalie stood frozen on the path long after Lord Hawthorne’s departure. Conflicting sensations ran rampant through her. His abrupt departure was chilling, and yet, inside, Natalie felt warm and flushed from the desire he’d awakened. After several moments, casting off the trance that had captured her, she tentatively touched her fingers to her lips. The normally plump flesh there ought to be burning. It ought to be feverish after his scorching kiss. But her lips felt no different than before. How was that possible?
His departing words cut deeply. If he’d been trying to hurt her, he had succeeded. And she’d deserved every word.
Shame swept through her, both for her wanton actions and her contradictory behavior. But…an overwhelming giddiness came over her nonetheless.
No wonder the mothers and chaperones had kept him away from all the debutantes. The man had practically set fire to her toes!
She would not be devastated by his parting words.
She would not wallow in self-pity from his rejection.
After months of feeling as though her life was fatefully mapped out before her, she thrilled to feel a glimmering of hope in her heart once again. She would not scoff at such a gift.
Light-hearted for the first time in ages, she skipped around back and entered through the servants’ entrance, her irritation with being trapped in the country obliterated. What a night!
After climbing the stairs to her room, Natalie’s euphoria dissipated as she mulled over Lord Hawthorne’s parting words. He had, in fact, been angry when he’d left her. And being thrust away from him so harshly had not been pleasant at all. He’d yelled at her. He’d asked what kind of game she was playing. Was she, in truth, playing games?
He hadn’t met her gaze after their kiss. She had seen his eyes, though—they had been blazing. He’d looked tormented, almost like a caged animal.Did I do that to him?She was not sorry for the kiss, but she did feel bad for making him so explosively angry, especially after getting along so well throughout most of their walk. She had felt as though they were, well, friends. Ought she to apologize?
Her maid, the ever-present and anxious Mrs. Tinsdale, awaited Natalie’s return to her room. She even went so far as to scold her, saying a young lady ought not to be gallivanting about the countryside in the dark, no matter it was her own parents’ property. The older woman, once nanny to the family, had taken the task as lady’s maid to Natalie once all the children had grown. The Spencers were the only family she’d ever known. She’d not given up her original role, however, when it came to caring for Natalie.
“Don’t fuss so, Tinsdale. There is nothing wrong with a midnight stroll.” Natalie bristled inside. She should not have to answer to her maid, as well as to her parents, her brothers, and all of society! She didn’t have the heart to reprimand the woman, though. Dearest Tinny didn’t deserve Natalie’s ire.Argh!She felt so…trapped!
Long after Tinsdale left, Natalie lay upon her bed staring at the ceiling. But she did not see the ceiling. No, rather she was recalling intensely black eyes flashing in the moonlight, eyes as black as opals with a few tiny creases at the edges. The creases had appeared when he smiled at her. And he had smiled, yes he had. Before that kiss.
He wasn’t dangerous, quite. He was exciting. He represented a world she’d never known. He’d somehow brought her back to life.
And now she’d angered him. She blinked several times at the thought.
She must apologize! Yes, an apology was not only appropriate but imperative. And she mustn’t wait until tomorrow. She must apologize tonight!
Buoyed by her decision, Natalie donned her dressing gown and slipped quietly out of her room. Lord Hawthorne was staying in Joseph’s old room. As Joseph was nearest to her in age, she’d often snuck into his room late at night for one reason or another. But Joseph was gone. A very different bachelor now occupied his room—one who was not a brother to her—one who was not in good temper with her at the moment.
Pacing outside his door, Natalie very nearly turned around several times to return to her own chamber. Ladies simply did not do this sort of thing. Why, she would be ruined forever if one of her mother’s guests caught her behaving so outrageously! But she was not the same girl she’d been all spring. She would take some chances. She would follow her heart.
After looking down both lengths of the corridor to be certain she was not observed, she stepped up to the door and knocked.
She didn’t have to wait but a moment.
“Enter,” a voice ordered from behind the closed door.
