He stiffens,then turns.
It’s then I notice Eirinn’s eyes are red-rimmed.
“What’s going on there?” My voice stays low so I don’t draw attention to them.
“Not sure.”
I glance at him, then back to the living room where Davis is making excuses and he and Eirinn disappear down the hallway. Eirinn’s deflated, and Davis’s spine is probably the straightest I’ve ever seen.
“I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to.”
Our eyes meet, and I accept the note. Not every problem is mine to solve.
“I know.” It’s a grumble and amusing enough it makes Dec huff a laugh.
I nudge him with an elbow. “What about you? What’s going on in your world?” I’d love for him to open up a little. Let me in after I just cracked the door for him.
“I had four four-year-old well-child check-ups this week.”
The look he gives me is of a man who’s been traveling for months in the wilderness and has somehow survived. It cracks me wide open, because I know exactly why he appears more traumatized now than when he did any of his training in medical school and likely most of the things he saw as a military doc.
Poppy turned four over the summer and hers was one of the first four-year-old well-child appointments he had. Poppy was so happy to have her uncle for her doctor, but when she found out she had to have vaccinations, she was utterly betrayed, and I hate to say it, but I think Dec might’ve felt equally betrayed that I brought her to him instead of Dr. Martinez for that appointment.
“Any of them take the shots okay?” I’m deeply relieved Idon’t face another big round of required vaccines for either of the girls until eleven. A yearly flu is manageable, especially if Nurse Kyle or Nurse Janet are the ones doing it.
We now knownotto request Doctor Dec be the one to administer their vaccines.
As he remembers the battles he’s fought this week, his eyes close. “One did okay. Evie brought me lunch after one, and then she suggested I go for a run after a particularly bad one. That helped.”
I eye him. He’s still got his eyes closed, but now that he’s mentioned his front desk receptionist, the tension in his face has eased.
“Evie did? Smart woman.”
“She’s brilliant.”
“Clearly.” And just as transparent is his interest in her. But if I say a word about it, he’ll fold up tight and tuck himself away. So I say nothing instead ofAnd when will you ask her out?OrAt what point will you let yourself try with her?OrWhat would you say if I told you I think you should let yourself be happy?
The eerie thing is, all of those could’ve been said about me regarding Sam a few months ago. Or honestly, even now. I’m letting it happen but I’m also struggling with it on some level.
Because…what if?What if I’m not right for her? What if this hounding sense I’ve got too much to make up for won’t ever ease, I can’t give her what she deserves, and I fail her?
When it’s time for dinner, I intercept Sam and draw her to my side, relishing a quick hug and shared heartbeat before we sit. How long has it been since we were alone together? Why does it feel like there’s never enough time before we’re parted again?
As we settle in and begin dishing up food, I indulge in the privilege of leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek, then send her a wink when she looks at me askance. Gratitude fills me even as those worries swarm me. Because she doesn’t seem to have the same ones.
After my dad says the blessing for the food and company, everyone bursts into conversation and my joy doubles. There’s just the one empty seat for Mac, and I’m newly determined to pin him down and get some real answers from him.
I slide a hand to Sam’s thigh and squeeze lightly after she shares about the class she just finished and her excitement over getting more involved in volunteering with the library.
Everything’s pretty subtle and pleasant, right up until Lily scrambles over to the table and announces, “Dad and Sam had a sleepover and they’re in love!”
As though choreographed, everyone freezes, all eyes swing to me and Sam, and I see the deepening blush on her lovely face the instant I turn to her. It’s horribly still for a beat, dread fills me at how she’ll respond, and then all at once yet again, she beams and the room erupts.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Sam
