We smile at each other. We wave, even, sometimes. And today, I got to call her.
I cringe away from the thought. Nothing like taking scraps from a woman who doesn’t even mean to be giving them. She’s just existing as a human being and I’m over here panting after her. She’s working to figure out what she wants and everything I know about her so far tells me the odds of her even wanting to try with me, let alone any time soon, are slim to none. I should probably work on accepting how mismatched we are.
“Don’t be an idiot.” I stare at my reflection in the mirror, batting away the thought that maybe I should shave since I’ve got stubble after the long day. No.
I wouldn’t shave for my family, so I’m not shaving on the off chance Sam might be there. She probably won’t be. She wasn’t last week, and hasn’t been back since that first time. Why would she be there tonight?
I hope she’s there tonight.
I groan and toss a hand towel at my reflection as I leave, determined to be normal and enjoy my family and a nice meal I didn’t have to cook.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Sam
Iwish I wasn’t so nervous, but my hands are doing their telltale shake as I park my car in the graveled drive of Mr. and Mrs. Ryan’s palatial, beautiful farmhouse.
There’s no question part of the nerves come from the fear that I’m not actually supposed to be here. I’m clearly not family, and everyone else in attendance, at least last time, was. I am way out of my league on so many levels. So am I really being the crazy garage apartment tenant who shows up like she belongs?
But Maybeggedme, and Declan even asked when he came to grab takeout earlier this week. I saw Connor and Mary out for a walk and they asked, too.
More than being asked, though, is the realization that I want to be here. Trepidatious though I may be, I’m drawn to this family.
That said, I’m stuck in the car on the verge of shiftinginto reverse and getting out of here when someone raps on my door and I startle with a small shriek. May’s cackle reaches me the second I open the door.
“I didn’t mean to scare you, but wow.” She pins her lips between her teeth, but she’s laughing and there’s no hiding it. “That was kind of amazing.”
If she only knew about the way I nearly passed into the spirit realm when her brother knocked on my window on my first night here.
“Glad I could amuse you.”
She made a face. “I’m pretty sure you’ve laughed at my expense twice already this week.”
“Guilty. Sorry.” We share a grin, neither of us holding any hard feelings.
And isn’t that a breath of fresh air? I have longed for a friend, and the beauty of having more than one right now is incalculable. Add to that the novelty of laughing with someone and not having it turn contentious—there were too many times I thought Andrew and I were joking only to realize his words were cutting. Or if I said something a touch too witty, I’d end up punished by silence or his total absence.
Here, we’re ribbing gently, but it’s fun, and I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop. May’s not my romantic partner, so our dynamic is different, but it reminds me it is possible to just laugh with someone and have it be that simple. I felt that with Evie, but she and I feel… kindred. Linked in some way that felt like family from our first meeting. May’s more like someone I’m getting to know slowly but steadily, and that pace is frankly set by her.
The woman is constantly doing something for the town, or a charity, or a nonprofit she started, or taking a shift with any number of volunteerjobs.
“Are you finally going to join me for the library on wheels next week?” Her bright eyes are filled with hope.
“I want to. Jerry’s giving me as many shifts as I can handle, but I think I can ask her to ease off.” That woman seems so crusty and cold, but she’s a sweetheart. She’s been nothing but supportive in the most demanding, endearing way.
Honestly, not unlike Grant. Maybe it’s a Juniper View thing?
“Yes! I’ll talk to Jerry, don’t worry. She’ll get it. Everyone needs a side gig or two.” She winks. “Even if it doesn’t pay a dime.”
I chuckle. “I feel like ‘side gig or two’ is nowhere near applicable for you. How many jobs outside of Corner Coffee do you have?”
Her warm expression shutters for a moment before returning. “Plenty!”
I’ve done a valiant job of ignoring the fact that Grant’s truck is already here. Of course it is. He’s a ten-minutes-early-is-on-time person, and I’m exactly on time. Finn’s car is pulling in now, and I’ll assume the other one already parked is Declan. May must be parked elsewhere, or maybe she hitched a ride with someone. Two other cars are parked one behind the other, and I suspect they’re Eirinn and Davis’s vehicles. Everyone’s here.
The weather is gorgeous today, and it’s still bright enough for me to appreciate the farmhouse in ways I didn’t the last time I was here. It’s got a wide porch that wraps around as far as I can see on one side. There are big windows in front on the main floor and the upstairs rooms. I can’t wait to see inside and get a feel for the view out the living room—by the time I got a good look, it was darkenough I couldn’t see much more than the shadows of mountains.
It's an old home from what May has told me, but it looks so well cared for. If I squint, I think I can actually see the copse of trees that sits right behind Grant’s house and the hill down which Mr. Bingley and Poppy were found.
