“Good. Me, too.” There’s a flicker of humor in his gorgeous blue gaze. “I’d like to date you, Sam. I realize I come with a lot, and you may not be up for it, so I want to put this out there very clearly without any chance of misunderstanding, no games, just truth. I like you. I find you…”
His gaze slips over me in a way that tells me he didn’t mean to do it, especially when his focus snaps back to meet my eyes again.
“You’re beautiful and strong and I’d like to get to know you better. But I don’t want to pressure you or push you. And I won’t pretend that dating me is simple—it’s not. I’m a package deal. So before you respond, I need to make clear that under no circumstances is your housing situation orlease in danger, regardless of what you say. I can appoint an alternate person for you to talk to if you are in any way uncomfortable. Is that clear?”
I have never had a man speak to me this way—so guilelessly and straightforward. It’s not flowery or poetic, but it rings true; it’s what he believes, so I can’t help but believe him. Being on the receiving end of this kind of honesty and directness is more than a little unnerving, though I appreciate down to my toes his being so purposeful.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
His forehead wrinkled, his jaw set, he nods.
And I summon the courage to say what I’ve decided I need to.
“I have been through a lot the last few years, and I’m finally at a place where I feel like I’m coming out the other end and feeling stronger.”
“You are. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, Sam.” He brushes his hand over the sleeve of my jacket, and I wish I could grab it for support.
But the choice I’ve made is to stand on my own two feet, to stop living in fear and start embracingme, and that starts right now.
“I’ve also realized that I’m not sure I trust myself or even know myself—know who I amnow.And I think before I get involved with someone, I need a little more time to figure that out.”
He blinks, but instantly nods, like he accepts this.
“But I need to make something clear, just like you did.” My hands are shaking, so I clasp them together and push on despite the wobble in my voice. “I would be lucky to date you, not in spite of your role as dad to Poppy and Lily, but as a major bonus. So please hear me when I say that’s not what’s deterring me. It’s genuinely me, and where I am, andthis sense that I need to give myself a little more time to trust myself.”
“Of course. You should do whatever you need to do, and whatever you want to do. That’s important, and I want that for you.” He nods, like the case is closed.
My heart lurches toward him and at least half of me is instantly regretting shutting down something more between us. Even his response to this very moment is confirming what I already know about him: he really is a good man.
“Wait, can we still be friends?” It’s a desperate little plea, but I don’t want to go back to feeling like I’m avoiding him.
“Yes. We’re friends.”
Relief sweeps through me and I grin. “Good.”
He nods again, that swift dip of his chin, but his brow isn’t so furrowed, and I think I can see he’s relieved, too. I hope so.
“Can friends hug?” I ask softly, a terrible idea but one I can’t keep from voicing.
“Yes.”
He steps into my space right as I do the same and wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs me around my shoulders, his hands pressing flat against my sweater.
By unspoken agreement, we don’t rush this. We embrace for five seconds, ten, then fifteen, now twenty, and I am soothed by his nearness. My heart isn’t racing, but settling, syncing with the steady thump of his heart I swear I can hear, or maybe it’s the feel of it trying to lull mine into the same rhythm. I get a hint of his pine and fresh air scent, and I want to inhale it indefinitely.
Well before I’m ready, he eases back, releasing me and sadly, forcing me to do the same. We share a smile.
“We better get back or Jerry’s going to kick me out.” His eyes widen like he’s actually scared of my boss.
“Jerry? I can’t see her doing that.”
“You didn’t hear her threaten me when we walked in earlier?”
I laugh. “No. Why did she threaten you?”
“She seems to like you. Said I shouldn’t give you any trouble or I’d have her and Morgy to answer to.”
He smirks in a way that tells me he didn’t mind the threat at all.
