We halt at the corner, and the good doctor is approaching from down the opposite street.
“Good morning, Evie. Ms. Ellis.” His blue gaze dips to Charlie. “And you, little man.” Then this rather formal person drops into a crouch and Charlie stumble-walks right into his arms. Declan accepts his hug, his eyes squeezingshut as he embraces the baby, who then smacks him on his cheek.
He laughs softly, so much affection and joy on his face… it’s transformative. Like,whoa. This guy is good-looking, but looking at Charlie like that?
I glance at Evie to see her melting. She’s a fat scoop of vanilla sliding off a waffle cone in the heat of the midday July sun.
Then I watch as Declan stands, gently hands Charlie to Evie and gives her what I would classify as asearing look, then plucks the heavy bag containing Evie’s lunch, water, and coffee, out of her hands, dips his chin, and walks away.
We stand and watch him go, striding with military precision toward his office while Charlie jabbers away, making babble and lots of “D-D-D” sounds.
I slowly turn to Evie. “So.”
Her cheeks are deep red. “Come on. We’ve got to get Charlie to school.”
“You realize I’m not going to pretend that didn’t just happen?” I speak quietly because enough people are out milling around, including parents dropping off kids at the little preschool nestled right into the downtown area housed in another old stone church.
“He offered one day. Seemed to think I was wilting under the weight of my stuff, and he took it to work for me. I was frazzled enough, I didn’t refuse. And then the next day, he did it again. Didn’t even ask. He intercepted me, I tried to say it was fine, he didn’t have to, and he said, ‘I know I don’t.’ And he has never once failed to be there and take my bag in to work while I drop off Charlie.”
It takes a minute to absorb this because it’s just so… honestly, it strikes me as such a Ryan family trait. “I think their family motto might be ‘kind and bossy in equal measure.’”
Evie’s big laugh makes me grin, and I can’t help joining in when Charlie starts laughing, too. Evie holds him close and smothers his little face with kisses, and my heart lightens another few shades.
Watching them pushes at the bruise of the last few hours, or maybe the last few years. I’ve been so certain about what I won’t do, but that’s all based in fear. It’s all grown out of the rotten soil left when Andrew plucked out every flower of hope I ever grew.
Not anymore. The one thing I won’t do? I won’t stay fearful. I’ll work on trusting myself and to do that, I need to know myself.
To do that, I think I know what I need.
I don’t know exactly what I’ll say to Grant, but I’m determined to find him today and at least try. I can be that brave, at least.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Grant
Idid not sleep.
At least, not well and not for long.
I also managed not to go storming back into her apartment and beg her forgiveness slash kiss her again slash shake her and tell her she must tell me everything about her sadistic ex so I can hunt him down and get him put behind bars where he clearly belongs.
Might be atouchoverstepping, and though she seems to be making peace with that part of my personality, I don’t want to push it any more than I already have.
Somehow, I did get the girls tucked into bed, and then nine hours later, I woke to make breakfast and shuttle them off to school. I kissed Pops and sent her skipping into preschool right after Lily gave me a big hug and said, “I love you, Dad. Have a good day.” The crinkle in her foreheadbetrayed that her empathetic little mind was whirring trying to figure out what’s up with me.
Well, honey, I just kissed the neighbor like it’s my new favorite sport, then apologized, and I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined our friendship, any potential future dating prospects, and myself for all other women in the process.
I think not.
The plan to see said neighbor first thing this morning failed when I left the house with a basket of hot blueberry muffins at seven only to find her car already gone. This meant I had to wait a full four hours before I had a break at work and could reasonably take my lunch.
“It’s Sam, right?” Dec asks when he catches me scowling out at the mountains where I stand outside his practice. They’re still snow-covered at their peaks, but the sidewalks and all but the shadiest parts of the park are clear.
“Yeah.” I grimace. “She opened up to me and I screwed it up.”
Hands on hips, he nods in the way I know means “go ahead and tell me everything, I’m listening.”
I pull my hat off and run a hand through my hair. It needs a trim. At least I shaved this morning. Another sigh rolls out of me as I grapple with my foolishness before explaining it. “I may have kissed her.”
