Looks like my plan is working—I’m giving myself space and stars and time… and sure enough, I’m finding out what I want.
And now Evie’s desperation, her pain, makes even more sense.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Grant
Lily and Poppy are playing outside in the snow, and their squeals of delight follow me inside while I get their hot chocolate ready.
They’re building a snowman after we spent the morning sledding, and though I would’ve thought they’d be worn out by now, they’re still going strong. The crash to come will be a solid one, and I’m not mad when I think of a quiet afternoon indulging in a nap together.
“Poppy? Where are you?”
Lily’s voice finally penetrates my thoughts, and something about the words raises an alarm in my head. I turn off the stove and jog to the front porch. “Lil? What’s up?”
She’s right there, like she was already on her way to find me. “I can’t find Poppy.”
My heart rate spikes, but this is not unheard of. “Okay, walk me through it.”
We retrace their steps, pointing to the trail of prints made by Poppy’s pink snow boots. I half expect to see her across the yard hiding, but she’s in rainbow colors from head to toe, and I see nothing.
A spike of fear seizes me, but I breathe through it and focus. We call Poppy’s name, I take a quick jog around the house, and still nothing. The light is flat, and the girls have been carving their way around the yard making pathways and prints all day, so the ease of singling out which ones are hers is all but gone.
“Hey, Lily. Grant.”
Sam’s voice pulls my attention to her concerned face. For a second, my determination falters and I have this thought that I’d love it if she let me lean on her a second. I instantly shake that off because I know how to handle this. I’ve been a dad for almost three years now, and this is my property, and I used to be an operator in the EMU, so I damn well know how to find people.
Yeah, but you’re also human, and overwhelmed, and could really use some help.
“Poppy’s lost. I thought she was just hiding, but I can’t find her. We don’t know where she went.” There are tears in Lily’s eyes and her gloved hands are tucked under her armpits like she’s holding herself together.
“I’m sorry. I’ll help look.” Sam’s instant response gives me a small boost.
I drop to one knee in front of Lily. “We’ll find her. We will.”
When my gaze meets Sam’s, she nods once with such confidence, it gives me a boost like I was trying to give Lil.
“I’m going to call Uncle Finn in case he’s nearby with the horses, and in the meantime, we’re fanning out and walking east on the path.” I signal for us to move forwardtoward the wide path carved through a sizable copse of junipers and oaks.
We trudge a few feet apart and move in the same direction. So far, I’ve only searched little offshoots and every bit of the yard, but it’s time to expand. We walked this way to get to the best sledding hill, so maybe she ran off in this direction.
It’s darker in the woods, and a surge of “Dear God, please let me find her” nearly crushes my windpipe, but we keep going. I’m jogging now, and I glance back to see that Sam has fallen into step with Lily. I don’t want to leave them behind, but the urgency is growing. I need to get to the top of that hill and spot her. I’ll see her from a quarter mile away in her snow clothes, so I just need to get to the vantage point and then get to her.
My heart cranks through the exertion and adrenaline pushes me farther, faster, until I’m out the other side of the trees and I skid to a halt, glancing side to side frantically until I catch on a bright pink pompom in the snow.
Horror clutches me and I sprint, then snag the hat when I realize it’s just the clothing and not my baby. “Poppy!” I yell and keep yelling, all the while running to one little grouping of bushes and rocks, then the next.
I haven’t even looked back at Lily and Sam, but I can’t do anything until I find my little girl. The calm I’ve developed over years of high-pressure situations is eroding like sand at high tide, and I’m running out of ideas.
Sound rushes in my ears, or maybe it’s my own blood, so I stop. Shut my eyes and listen. There’s a faint rustle of something, maybe the zip of fabric against a glove, and then the ring of a bell. My gaze snaps left, and I think—I do see it. A pink boot. I’ve never run faster than I do in thismoment, pumping my arms as I go, then fall on my ass when I attempt to stop.
“Daddy! You scared me!”
I crawl to my girl and haul her into my arms. “Poppy, love, what are you doing?”
After the first lap around the house, I thought about how I might lecture her on wandering off, but right now, all I want is to cry, the relief is so strong.
“The kitty. He was out here and then he ran. I got scared he’d get lost and be too cold.”
