Towel tucked under my arms, I apply enough makeup to cover the bruising around my eye and take extra care blow-drying my hair. Then, I spend an hour picking through my closet, eventually settling on dark jeans, my winter boots, and a loose-fitting black sweater that is certain not to show any sweat stains.
I debate eating a granola bar, but my stomach protests at the idea of food, nerves and nausea wrecking my intestines. Coffee is also out of the question. With nothing else to do, I triple check that the notecards are tucked in my bag and take off for class thirty minutes earlier than usual.
I lose track of time sitting in the quiet classroom, staring out the window at the dark sky. Zoned out, I don’t realize Wes has entered the room until he gently shakes my shoulder, making me jump a mile in the air. I slap a hand over my chest, sucking in a breath.
“You scared me,” I gasp.
He’s immediately apologetic. “Shit. I’m sorry, Ives. I said your name, like, three times.”
I wait for my heartbeat to slow, but it never does, probably because Wes’s arrival means I’m one step closer to the speech. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
His eyes roam over my face. “Get any sleep at all?”
I wince. “A little.”
“Well, you look beautiful, for what it’s worth. And your eye looks incredible. I have no idea how women do that magic.”
Before I have a chance to respond, Markham draws our attention to the front of the room. “Alright people, starting early since we have more speeches to get through.” He looks at the list on his screen. “Lia Holder, you’re up!”
I sit through five rounds of speeches, my nerves winding tighter and tighter with each new person suffering at the front of the room. I refuse to breathe as Markham glances back at the list, and when he calls “Wes Tucker,” instead of my name, I let out a small exhale, sinking down in my seat. “Been looking forward to this one, Mr. Tucker.”
Wes laughs, but I pick up on the nervous edge in his voice as he walks to the front of the room. Taking a calming breath, he stands up straight, and then he begins.
Wes’s speech, of course, comes across damn near professional. He’s charismatic, he commands the room, he cracks jokes and earns round after round of laughter. He even has Markham fighting back a smile. When he’s done, and the room erupts in well-earned applause, my stomach sinks.
Please don’t let me follow him up.
“Well done, Wes,” praises Markham. “See? Could have gotten that over with four years ago.”
“Fate brought me to this moment when the time was right,” Wes says seriously. “Can’t fuck with fate, Professor Markham.”
“Right. Sure. Maybe you can do your next speech on your fascinating relationship with destiny.” Wes just grins at him before heading back to his seat, eyes locked on mine as he shuffles his way through the desks. I can see the relief in them and can’t wait until I experience it myself.
“You were amazing,” I whisper.
He reaches out and affectionately squeezes my arm. “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
I doubt that, but I don’t have the chance to say so before Markham’s looking back at his list. “Alright, let’s see who’s next…Ivy Combs? You’re up.”
The smile wipes clean off my face as the world tilts on its axis. I feel lightheaded, like I’m having an out of body experience, floating above myself and watching my life unravel from the ceiling.
“You can do this, Ivy,” Wes murmurs. “You’ve got it in the bag.”
I think I nod. Or maybe grimace. I don’t remember getting out of my seat or walking to the front of the room or showing Markham my bulleted notecards to prove I’m not cheating. Blood whooshesin my ears, drowning out the sound of my heartbeat. My fingers shake, hands struggling to hold my note cards straight, and my knees knock together. I feel my control slipping away, those perfectly practiced words alluding me, hovering just out of reach.
This is it. This is my biggest fear.
I’m going to have an anxiety attack in front of the entire classroom.
EIGHTEEN
Movementat the back of the room catches my attention, and I glance up to see Wes waving his hand to draw my gaze. My panicked eyes latch onto his.
You got this,he mouths.Breathe.
I suck in a breath. Exhale.
Stay focused on me.He gestures between us with his finger.It’s me and you.
