We throw back the shots. The liquor burns going down, but I force myself not to cough. Then, he passes me the cup with the concoction he’s made. “Try it,” he urges, and I take a hesitant sip, surprised it tastes halfway decent. “Good, right?”
“Way better. Thank you.” I take another sip and shift on my feet. “Should we find Alexis?”
He leans toward me, so close I can smell his cologne. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“I guess,” I say with a small smile.
“She’s been kind of annoying me lately. Sometimes, she whines like a toddler. It gives me a fucking headache.”
“Oh.” My smile falters. It seems weird that he would tell me these things, but then again, maybe not. The deep, dark part of my mind that sometimes looks at my friend and wonderswhy her?feels a sick sense of satisfaction. “So…I mean…are you going to break up with her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. She’s gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but she’s kinda flat on top. Not like you.”
His eyes roam over me, lingering on my chest. My body burns red hot, and I tug at the strap of my tank top. Alexis convinced me to wear it, but I don’t love how tight it is. How big it makes my chest look. “I think I should find my friends.”
“Sorry,” he tells me, his smile sheepish. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“Oh, no. That’s okay.”
“She’s great at sucking dick, though. That’s one reason I keep her around.” I’m not sure what to say to that, so I don’t say anything. His eyebrow quirks, a wicked smile turning up the corner of his mouth. “Have you ever done that?”
“N-no,” I stutter out. My cheeks burn, and his smile widens.
“Do you want to?” I don’t respond. He takes a sip of his drink, and so I take another sip of mine. The world’s starting to go a little hazy around the edges, and I don’t think I should drink anymore. I put down my cup. “You won’t tell her I said any of this, will you?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“It’s our secret?”
I nod my head. It’s heavy all of a sudden. Bobble-like.
“I think you might have drank too much, Ivy.”
“I should find my friends,” I say again, but the words come out jumbled, and Mason laughs.
“They’re just outside. Don’t worry, I’ll help you find them in a second, but you really need to lie down. That liquor went straight to your head.”
I nod again, and then he’s guiding me down the hallway and up the stairs and into an empty room. I stumble over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress because the walls around me are off-balance. I realize that he’s right. I drank too much.
“It’ll be okay,” he assures, shutting the door, and then he’s next to me, brushing my hair back over my shoulder. He shouldn’t be this close, and I’m confused as to how he got there. I blink slowly. Heavy-lidded.
I try to stand because something feels wrong, but he catches my hand and tugs me back down. I’m too light-headed to resist, so I sink against him. And then his mouth is on my neck and he’s kissing me and I must be way drunker than I thought because the room’s spinning now.
I try to pull away and get to my feet, but he grabs my wrists and presses me back against the bed. His hands tighten. His grip is too firm, and I’m too drunk, and I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he says.
I want to go home.
His hands roam under my shirt, fingers rough and coarse across my skin. This is nothing like what I did with Greg. Thisis nothing like how it should be. I open my mouth to tell him to stop, but he covers it with his hand, and for a second, I can’t breathe. He removes it, and I gasp for air.
When the room starts to tilt, I shut my eyes, worried I might be sick. I try to speak again becauseI want to go home I want to go home I want to go home?—
His hand is over my mouth again. “It’s okay, Ivy. You said you wanted this.”
And then his hand is replaced by his lips, and he forces his tongue into my mouth the way he forced his hands under my shirt and his body between my legs, and I twist, twist, twist my head away but that’s all I can do. His weight pins me down. He’s so heavy. He crushes me.
I can’tbreathe.
