So what?I want to scream at it.So WHAT!
Minutes pass while I attempt to bring my blood pressure down. Finally, I slip back into the car, damp and trembling, meeting Landon’s gaze head-on.
“How could she do that to you?” I demand, shaking my head. “How could she…how could anyone? I had no idea. If I had known, I would have done something. Someone should have done something.”
“I didn’t tell you to make you feel bad,” Landon says, voice thick with emotion. His eyes are glassy, but he reaches out and takes my hand. “I told you so you’d know the truth. The full truth.”
“Landon. I’m so sorry.” I squeeze his hand. “You could have told me.”
“I’ve never told anyone about this, Violet.”
“Why? Why didn’t you confide in anyone?”
“Because. I just…couldn’t.” He hangs his head. “I’m ashamed. Ashamed I put myself in this situation. Ashamed I couldn’t find a solution. Ashamed I let her treat me like that. Ashamed I’m still giving her money.”
I reach out and take his hand in mine, my smaller fingers curling around his longer ones. “I had no idea she was like this.”
I think back to all the times I took Mel’s side, to all the times I defended her to Landon before we really knew each other. It makes me sick to think about how I stuck up for her, how I thoughthewas the villain when all that time he was the victim.
“Like I said, she wasn’t like that when we met,” he says. “I don’t know if that was a front or if, over time, she became more and more angry and unhappy. And then, after the fourth time she cheated on me, I just…stopped caring.
“What we have going now is the perfect agreement for her. She gets her own life, as well as my money in the form of a monthly allowance. She gets to keep me trapped under her thumb, able to waltz in and out of my life as she pleases. It gives her pleasure to do so, to keep me on my toes. She agreed not to tell my parents, but I know this can’t last. I don’t want it to last. I want her gone for good, and I’ve been working tirelessly to try to find an investor to replace my father. It’s been useless so far.”
“You’ll find someone,” I assure. “I know you will.”
He smiles sadly. “Maybe. I’m just not sure anymore.”
I study his face, amazed at how calm he is, guilt clawing at my chest. All these little signs. All these little things I missed because I wasn’t looking hard enough. Because I was blinded by my own selfish desire to reconnect with my sister, who never wanted anything to do with me.
“It’s okay,” he says, reading my mind. “You don’t have to be upset. I wanted you to know Melanie and my relationship has been over for a long time, but this arrangement is endless. It kills me every day, but I don’t want to give up my company. I will find a solution. If anything good is coming out of these six years, it’s going to be that company. It’s going to be the looks on those kids’ faces when I help them. There has to besomethinggood. It can’t all be for nothing.”
I consider how much Landon’s changed since Mel’s been gone. He’s opened up. He’s less angry. He’s more caring. Hell, he evensmilesnow. The Landon I met when I arrived here was a completely different man, one who was crumbling under the weight of a toxic relationship. One who was burdened by a mistake made years ago and paying for it every day since. No wonder he was pissed off. No wonder he was mean. I would be, too, if I had to deal with that, especially with no one to turn to or talk to except the person holding you hostage.
“Thank you,” I say. “For telling me.”
“I hate that you know,” he says, with surprising intensity. “My marriage to your sister makes me sick when I think about it. When I think about the person I’ve become. I’m sorry I kept this from you. I’m sorry Melanie kept it from you. I’m sorry she blurted it out like that. You deserved better.”
I’m quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in.
“So, you’re not embarrassed to be with me, then?” I ask, recalling his statement that night by the pool. As much as I tried to forget it, it’s stuck with me, hovering at the back of my mind, brushing up against my insecurities. “You pushed me away because of your situation?”
I can’t dothiswith the nearly teenage waitress from the country club.
“Never,” he insists. “I was ashamed at myself for giving in. I knew I was betraying your trust. I knew I was putting you in an impossible situation. I knew what I was doing was wrong in so many ways, but I did it anyway. I never wanted to put you in that position, Violet, but I wasn’t ready to tell you the truth either.” His eyes bore into mine. His warm hands reach out to cup my face, thumbs brushing lightly across my cheekbones, and his voice drops. “Violet,youare the woman I want, and maybe it’s wrong to tell you now, but I can’t keep it in anymore.”
His words fill my chest with warmth, and my heartbeat flutters, erratic. I bask in this unexpected moment, forgetting our situation becausehe’sthe man I want as well.
But then reality crashes down on me.
“I can’t be with you while you’re married to her,” I say, searching his eyes, wishing it was different.
“I know,” he says, and his hands fall away. Cool air rushes in, and I shiver. “I don’t expect that from you. I would never expect that from you.”
We sit there in the parking lot of the country club, the rain pounding against the windshield. We stare out the window, both of us hurt and defeated. Both of us exhausted from the mind games and drained from the drama and broken by our situation.
I want to wrap him in my arms and never let him go. To forgive easily and forget quickly and tell him how much I care. But the other part of me is focused on protecting myself. It wants to barricade my heart with a ten-foot steel wall.
Landon betrayed my trust, but he can earn it back. I feel it in my gut that he’s been truthful and honest. That he’s filled with regret and shame. I glance over at him, and my heart squeezes in response to the despair etched into the lines of his face. I can’t help it. I grab his hand again across the center console. I twine my fingers through his and squeeze it twice.
