I stare at the door, my breath coming in shallow pants.
How did I not know? How did I not realize?
How did he not tell me?
* * *
I don’t have to debate leaving anymore because there’s nothing to debate. The second I heard the wordmarried,the decision was made.
When the shock finally wears off and my body stops shaking, I drag myself up off the floor and stumble up the stairs to my room. It takes thirty minutes to pack, ten minutes to load the car, and fifteen minutes to drive to Brit and Sienna’s apartment. It takes three minutes to park, five minutes to stare blankly at the wheel, and ten seconds to snap out of it.
“He’s married,” I tell their stricken faces. “He’s been married to my sister the entire time, and I had no idea. I had no idea.”
My head drops to my hands, my knees crumble, and then the tears come. Once they come, they don’t stop. I can’t help the strangled sobs coming out of my body. There are knives in my chest, one for the betrayal, one for the shame, and one for the heartbreak. With each breath they pierce me deeper, and with every sob they twist harder, until I’m gasping at the pain.
I just want it to stop.
“It’s okay, Violet,” says Sienna, and her arms wrap around me. Brit kneels in front of me, hugging me on her knees, and I cry into her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Fuck him,” Brit says. “Fuck that arrogant lying piece of shit. Fuck. Him.”
“You’re too good for him, Violet,” Sienna assures.
“I’ll fucking kill him,” says Brit. “Bleach in his coffee. Cyanide in his omelet. Rodenticide sprinkled all over his potatoes.”
“I’m such an idiot,” I whisper. “I should have never stayed with him. I should have left like I was supposed to.”
“You didn’t want to leave because you liked him,” says Sienna. “You’re only human. Who hasn’t done things they regret in the name of a crush?”
“But the crush was on my sister’shusband. I betrayed her. She’ll never forgive me.”
“You don’t owe her anything, Violet,” says Brit adamantly. “The way I see it,shebetrayedyou.Why didn’t she know you were staying with Landon? Because she never asked. She wrote you off for no reason and made you feel like shit. You don’t oweheranything.”
“I do, though,” I mutter through a fresh round of tears.
She took care of you. She was there for you. She’s family.
Even with Mel’s behavior—her absence, her cheating, her dismissiveness—there are some lines you shouldn’t cross. Some barricades that are there for a reason. Some loyalties you can’t quite shake.
Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just wired differently.
I swallow down the guilt. Despair takes its place.
“And now, on top of everything else, I’m homeless.”
“You can stay here as long as you need to,” says Sienna. “You can even take my bed! I can stay at Ollie’s.”
I shake my head. “The couch is fine. Thank you, though.”
“You’ll get through this,” Sienna assures. “I know you will.”
“If that dickhead so much as looks at you at Golden Palm, I’ll slash his tires,” says Brit.
Sienna nods. “Brit has quite the violent streak when she needs to.”
I almost laugh, but it gets caught in my throat and comes out as a sob instead.
Brit and Sienna do everything in their power to cheer me up. They put onThe Baking Challenge, order Chinese food, and pour me glass after glass of wine while they shit talkhim. Eventually, I dry my tears, put on a brave face, and pretend to feel better because that’s what I do. I can’t bear the thought of others being uncomfortable, no matter the toll it takes on my own psyche.
