I watched my uncle, trying to read between his words.“I see.”
For a moment we sat in smoky, weighty silence.At length, I took the opportunity to broach another topic.
“I realize now that the truth of Ben’s affair with Alice Irving is known.”I did not look at Ben as I spoke, though out of the corner of my eye I saw him tilt his head back.Resigned, he exhaled a stream of smoke.“I am also aware that I misled the Admiralty in claiming his actions as my own, and that not all will be pleased with my foray into Mere.But I hope that, in light of our findings, the Admiralty will see our value.I intend to sail with the fleet against Mere.Benedict, despite his moral failings and the loss of his ship—I realize of course that under less pressing circumstances, an inquest may bewarranted, however… He remains an officer of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy and an invaluable asset.”
I sensed my twin’s focus snap to me, prying like needles under my skin.
Admiral Rosser huffed, seemingly uninterested in pursuing that particular conversation.“Noted.Now, tell me more of these Mereish observatories and their beliefs about these unprecedented tides.”
I obliged and the interview began in earnest.My uncle queried and pried, testing the borders of our story and edging out concessions, new information, observations and facts.I spoke of the actions of the Ess Noti and the potency of their talismans, which I handed over at this time.My uncle took them in with narrowed eyes and a draconian exhale of smoke.I sensed a lack of surprise in his reaction, but any queries of my own were brushed aside.
At length, the admiral swept the pouch of talismans and magecrafted shot into his pocket.He tapped ash into a bowl in the center of the table and said, “I can make no promises as how any of this will be received, but I must urge the pair of you—and your crew, Samuel—to secrecy.Keep your heads low and your conduct clean.”
“I always do,” Benedict said, calm and guileless.
Our uncle gave him a quelling look.“Benedict.There will be an inquisition into the loss of your ship, though I doubt you will be barred from temporary action.So again, I repeat—keep your head low and your conduct clean.Remain with Samuel and wait for your summons to court.Though I dare say it will not be for some time, given we, apparently, face invasion.”
“Of course.”Ben leaned on one arm of his chair, casually brushing his lips with the end of his cigar.But I saw the fingers of his other hand shudder on the arm of his chair.A vision of our childhood came back to me in a flash—him holding freshly caned hands in his lap as we waited, together, on the bench outside our uncle’s study.The weight of responsibility had haunted me then, and it did so again.
“I would invite you to my table this evening, but I need time to evaluate the reception of your arrival and your news,” the admiral finished with the beginnings of a dismissal.“Irving is not here— in that we have found some grace.But again, I urge you.Keep your heads low and stay out of naval affairs.”
I nodded and ashed my cigar, leaving the stub in the bowl.“Very good, sir.”
“I am sorry I did it,” Ben said unexpectedly.
The admiral’s eyes fixed on my twin.I considered him too, searching him for a lie.Instead I found an intense defensiveness to his posture, a forced disregard.Ash from his cigar drifted onto the thick Ismani carpet.
“I should not have associated with Ms.Irving,” Benedict added.“It was unsatisfying, and the complications far beyond what I anticipated.”
“That is not the breed of regret that will sway those in power,” our uncle stated.“You regret the repercussions, as always, not the wrongness of the act, nor letting your brother take the fall for your immorality.”
“I have never failed at my duty,” Ben returned stolidly.“And I will not.Give me a new ship, a ghisting and a Stormsinger, and I will prove my value tenfold.”
“I do not doubt that,” the admiral said.There was something about his eyes, perhaps regret or remembered gentleness, a recollection of our boyhood and his unexpected mantle of father.“But martial merit cannot redeem you from moral failings.”
Redeem.With that word, I truly realized that the shame of the incident with Alice Irving had shifted from my shoulders.I was no longer the one in shadow, desperate to attach some good to my sullied name.Ben was the villain now, as he should have been all along.
But there was danger in that shift.
“Uncle,” I said, eager to end the interview.“Thank you for interceding for us.We await your pleasure.”
The admiral nodded.“I am glad to see the pair of you again, whole and well.You are… well?”
No one needed to clarify what he truly inquired about.I had an impulse to tell him of my continued degradation, of our looming cure.But mentioning a cure would open a door with Benedict I was not sure I had the ability to close.
“We are,” I said, and Ben nodded, adding a surprisingly genuine curl of the lips.
“Good.”The admiral cleared his throat.“I will send for you soon.Good day, my boys.”
FORTY-THREE
Toffee
MARY
With the Rossers at the fort, the Uknaras holed up in their cabin and Enisca refusing visitors, Charles and I busied ourselves with practical matters in Renown.I found a seamstress, purchasing various necessities and ordering others to replace items stolen or destroyed inHart’s capture.Charles, after being all too easily charmed by the shop owner, ordered an entirely impractical ensemble of dusty rose pink, trimmed with cream.
“And where will you wear that?”I inquired as we stepped back out into the slush and melt of the street.It was warm that day, the breeze mild and the only true cold wafting from alleyways still burdened by packed snow.
