I wave my hand. “It’s fine.”It’s not fine.“I should’ve texted.”It was supposed to be a sexy surprise. “I didn’t know you’d be busy.”I didn’t know you were sleeping with your co-worker.“It’s not a big deal.”There has never been a bigger deal in the history of deals.
“Not a big deal?” I turn now, and Miles’s perfect lips are in a frown, his brow creased.
“Yeah. We never said this was exclusive. The only promise we made to each other was to keep it light. You’re free to see whoever you like, however you like.” My words come out so calm andmeasured, I’m thoroughly impressed with myself. Miles isn’t the only actor on this porch.
Miles crosses his arms over his bare chest. It’s freezing out here. He must be cold, but his eyes are focused on me. “Have you been… I mean… Are you seeing someone else?”
I want to say no, that there is absolutely no room in my heart for anyone else, but how pathetic is that when he’s clearly sold the cow and is still sippin’ the milk. I could tell him I have been seeing someone, level the playing field. He’ll feel better. I’ll save face. But I can’t bring myself to lie to him outright. So, I just shrug, like that stupidI don’t knowemoji.
Miles nods. “Is that why you hardly respond to my texts? Is that why you never want to FaceTime?”
My stomach finally unclenches and is immediately filled with fire. “Your texts? I’ve responded to every single text you’ve sent.”
He shakes his head. “Not the last one.”
“I was on the road, coming to see you.”
He lets out a long breath. “When you do respond, it feels like you’re doing it out of obligation. Not like you really want to talk to me. Did you even miss me at all?”
My face is numb with shock, or possibly the absolutely Baltic air. My hands lose their grip on my bag, and it slips off my shoulder, all of its contents spilling onto the deck, some skidding off the side and into the bushes. Is Miles really going to stand here, half-naked on his porch, with an equally half-naked woman in his cabin, and accuse me of not being interested in him?
Light snowflakes start to fall. One flutters in the wind and lands on Miles’s bare shoulder. In an alternate reality, I would kiss the spot it landed, melt it with my mouth. If I hadn’t gotten a flat or if I’d left yesterday like I wanted to, maybe Ava wouldn’t have been here, and I would’ve never known he was sleeping with both of us. MySliding Doorsmoment. Maybe after this, I’ll get a jaunty haircut and meet a witty man on the tube. No tube around here, though, so fat chance, and my hair would never lie flat like Gwyneth’s.
“It’s Finn, isn’t it? You’re seeing him. It was clear that day in the pub that he’s still in love with you. I just didn’t realize you felt the same.”
What? How did my walking in on Miles and Ava, turn into him accusing me of being in love with Finn? My mouth is dry. I feel dizzy.
I bend to scoop my things back into my bag. My lip balm rolls out of reach and falls between the cracks. It’s my favorite, but I couldn’t care less. Miles is sleeping with the most beautiful woman I have ever met in real life. Who gives a fuck about chapped lips? I put a firm hand on my mother’s journal and fit it snuggly inside the bag—some things do still matter—throwing the whole thing over my body and turn toward the stairs. “I have to go.”
“Skye it’s not what it looked like. Nothing happened between me and Ava.”
I face him, swallowing back tears. His face is sincere, but even if nothing happened it’s a huge wake-up call that this, us, is not going to work. I try to smile. “Miles it’s fine. Really. You two would be good together.”
I run down the porch stairs, down the road, and into the black night, wishing it could swallow me whole. Part of me—all of me, really—wants Miles to run after me. The door shuts, the hinges creak, and I’m still running alone.
There’s a small pub on the road into the holiday park, and I drag my heavy bones inside and take the only empty seat at the bar. I order a whiskey and a pint.
The bartender places my drinks down, bringing me back to the present. What am I going to do now? No car. No place to stay. No Miles.
I pull out my phone and send a text. At least the pub has Wi-Fi. The first whiskey goes down fast and smooth, so I order another. The vision of Ava’s long bare legs in Miles’s cabin gets fuzzier with each sip.If Miles says nothing happened, I really do believe him. I think. But either way this will never work.
Finn walks into the bar and smiles once his eyes find mine.
As I’m paying my tab, Elsie comes up behind me. “Skye! You're here! Let’s get a pint.”
Elsie’s face falls as I turn around. I must look as bad as I feel.
“What’s wrong?”
I just shake my head. “Ask Miles.”
Finn takes my hand in his. “Ready to go?”
I nod and give Elsie a small wave on my way out the door.
MILES
My brain is still fuzzy from too much whiskey. Skye doesn’t care. She wants me to date other people, but that’s the last thing I want. Ava is sitting on the bed and has even put another log on the fire.
