“How would I know? How’s it going anyway?”
I sigh.
“What’s going on? That’s not a good sigh. That’s aspiraling into dark thoughts,sigh.”
Jake knows me a little too well. “It’s nothing, really. I think the picture is going well.” I shut the door to my room and plop down on my bed. “It’s just some other stuff.”
“It’s that redhead from theYHFphoto, isn’t it?”
I sit bolt upright. “How’d you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
If Jake can guess that from thousands of miles away, how bad a job have I been doing at hiding our relationship from everyone else?
It couldn’t hurt to tell Jake, though. He is, after all, very far away and always discreet. Plus, I’m bursting. I have to talk to someone about Skye. She’s all I ever want to talk about, and not being able to is eating me from the inside out.
“Okay, yes, it’s Skye. The redhead from the photo. We’re…” What are we doing? “We’re having a fling.”
“A…what?”
I pace around my tiny room. “That’s what we agreed upon, but that’s the problem, really. I think about her all the time. When I’m on my morning run, when I’m on the set, when I close my eyes to sleep at night, she’s all I see.”
I can practically hear Jake shaking his head on the other line. “That doesn’t sound like a fling.”
I put Jake on speakerphone and start packing. “No. It doesn’t feel like one either. I’ll be honest… It feels a lot like love.”
“Love, really?”
I nod and then remember this isn’t FaceTime. “Yes. I’ve honestly never felt this way before. I mean, I thought I loved Lana, but she never felt the same way for me. We had a physical relationship, but to her, it didn’t go beyond that. It was just me in my respective corner,pining for her. I’ve had some strong feelings for other women, too, but this is different. It’s all-consuming.”
“Have you told her how you feel?”
“No. How can I? We were so clear about what this was. Plus, I just invited her to go with me on location at the next place, and she turned me down. She seemed pissed I’d asked. How would long-distance work if she can’t leave the castle for even a week? I can’t move to Scotland.” I pause with a sweater in my hand, hovering above my bag.
Could I move to Scotland? I could fly to any location that was shooting, which 80% of the time is in LA. But no. My mom is in LA. How could I leave her there? Then again, my brother is there too, and my sister, with her three kids and perfect husband, so my mom wouldn’t be lonely. She doesn’t really need me there. Moving is not an impossible thought.
“Miles? Are you still there?”
“Yes.”
“You can’t move to Scotland. Has she even asked you to?”
I sit down on the bed, the soft comforter squishing a little extra under the heaviness of my heart. “No.”
“Right. You’ve said you were both very clear that this was supposed to be casual. So you need to keep it light, right? Give it some space. Go on your shoot. Get some distance. Next week, when you come back, it’ll all look different.”
Jake is probably right.
“Now, have you been doing the workouts I sent you?”
I’ve been working out, that’s for sure, but not with Jake’s set routines as much as I should. “A little.”
“Let’s do some planks right now. Just a couple two-minute holds. No sweat.”
Jake was wrong.There’s a lot of sweat. In fact, by the time I hang up, I’m covered in sweat. I head to the bathroom for a quick rinse off before bed. When I open the door, light is streaming out from under Skye’s door. I want to knock, to give her a goodnight kiss, but Jake’s words ring in my head.Give it some space.
I turn toward the bathroom instead. Maybe while I’m away, she’ll realize she can’t live without me. And when I get back, we’ll figure out how we can make this work for real. I soak in the tub, letting the warm water soothe my sore muscles. And another thought trickles in…
