There’s a fallen log under the tree, and I take a seat. Miles joins me, and we look out at the water. “This is the best place on the loch. Well, my favorite, anyway.”
He nods. “I can see why. It’s gorgeous.”
Mist clings to water. It’s hauntingly beautiful. “This is where I saw Nessie.”
Miles sucks in a breath next to me, and it’s so cute I almost laugh. “Really?”
I take a long inhale. “When I was a kid and we first moved here, my dad, mom, and I used to walk this trail together. There’s more of a proper park a little ways farther. My mother and father were fighting that day. Once they started yelling, I ran away. They didn’t fight often—hardly ever, really—but when they did, it scared me. Anyway, when I ran, I found this spot. It was a day like today, with heavy mist. I was throwing rocks into the water and watching the ripples. One of the ripples kept getting larger and larger. A huge silhouette came out of the water and then crashed back in with a massive splash.”
Miles let out a breath, like he had been holding it while I was talking. “Whoa. That’s amazing.”
I smile. Miles listens with his whole body, leaning in, eyes locking on mine. It’s intoxicating.
“Did it surface again?”
“No. My mom found me after that, and we all went home.”
“What were they fighting about?”
I’ve told this story to a handful of people over the years, and no one has ever asked me what my parents were fighting about that day. It makes me reach back through my memory for it. “I don’t really remember.”
Miles nods. “It must be hard to have a singing career and a young family.”
“She’d given it up by then.”
Would it have been that hard? I know my mom traveled a lot when she was a singer, but if it was her dream, it seems like my parents should’ve been able to work it out. She shouldn’t have had to give up all of it to make peace. I shift on the log but don’t say anything.
Miles clears his throat. “Sorry. I just assumed that’s what you meant. Not that I would know. I mean, I have a demanding career, but I haven’t had any serious relationships to try to juggle during it.”
Miles is, well, he’s drop-dead gorgeous, he’s friendly, and he seems to crave company. I can’t figure out why he hasn’t had any serious relationships. It surprises me so much that I ask, “Why not?”
Miles rubs his hands on his pants. “Oh, um…”?
“It’s none of my business.”?
“No, it's fine. I met a girl on the set of a movie. She was gorgeous, and we just hit it off. But she wasn’t a one-man kind of girl, it turned out, and I…” Miles pauses, his eyes scanning the water, which is getting darker as the clouds roll in. He sighs before continuing, “I didn’t see it coming. It hit me harder than I expected. I pictured a whole life with her. I really thought we were meant to be together. For a while, a couple of years at least, I held hope that she would come back. I sent her gifts, emails, texts. But she wasn’t in love with me.”?
Miles's face is turned toward the hills, his jaw clenched. I don’t know what to say. “That’s awful.”?
He half smiles. “You know what the worst part is? I wasted all that time on a fantasy.”
I run my hand along the log we’re sitting on, feeling the coarse bark under my fingertips as I consider his words. But I’m not sure how to take them. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just, I met other women—nice, stable, accomplished women—during the years following Lana. And I still clung to this hope that she would come back. We weren’t even together very long. I just had it so set in my head we were meant to be. I squandered real-life chances at love, while what I had with Lana…” He shakes his head. “None of it was real.”?
“But none of it’s ever real.”?
“What?”?
“Love.” A gust of wind blows my hair off my face, and bright-yellow leaves rustle on the ground. I cross my arms over my chest to try to warm up and contain my thoughts, but they spill out anyway. “Even when feelings are reciprocated, someone always loves the other person more. Someone is either left pining with a broken heart or has to contort themselves to fit in the confines of the other person’s expectations.”?
Miles lets out a chuckle as he picks up a leaf by his foot. “Gee, tell me what you really think.”?
I scrunch my nose. “Obviously, I have a lot of opinions on the subject.”?
“But weren’t you reading a romance novel the other day?”?
I shrug. “I used to readPeter Panas a child. That doesn’t mean I believe in faeries.”?
