“Thank you, but I believe I shall ride with my family. There are matters I must attend to before we all depart tomorrow.”
A flicker of something crossed his features—surprise, perhaps, or disappointment. It vanished as quickly as it emerged.
“Of course. As you wish.”
He bowed, she curtseyed, and the formality of it all made her want to scream. They were married. They had stood before God and clergy and spoken vows of union, yet they might as well have been strangers meeting at a country assembly for all the intimacy between them.
***
Evening brought Wilhelmina to Elizabeth’s chamber, carrying a brush and an expression that signalled understanding without needing explanation.
“Sit.” Wilhelmina gestured to the chair before the dressing table. “Let me brush your hair.”
Elizabeth obeyed, grateful for the familiar ritual. Wilhelmina’s fingers worked through her curls, loosening the pins that had held everything in tidy arrangement throughout the ceremony and breakfast.
“You are leaving tomorrow. I confess I shall miss you terribly. These past days have been chaotic, certainly, but they have also been significant. I am glad you were here, even amidst all the upheaval.”
Elizabeth met her cousin’s eyes in the mirror. “As am I. I only wish circumstances had been less dramatic.”
Wilhelmina leaned forward. “Drama seems to follow wherever you go. It is part of your charm.”
“Charm. Yes. I am certain Mr Darcy finds my talent for creating chaos charming.”
Wilhelmina’s hands stilled, a sign that she recognised the bitterness in Elizabeth’s voice. “What troubles you, cousin? And do not dissemble. I know you too well.”
For a long moment, Elizabeth considered maintaining her facade. She held her composure until she could maintain it no longer.
“He invited my entire family to Matlock without consulting me. He announced it like I had no stake in the decision. As though my wishes were irrelevant.”
Her cousin resumed brushing in soothing movements. “Perhaps he assumed you would be pleased to have your relations accompany you?”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps he did not think to ask. I had hoped, foolishly, I know, that we might return to Longbourn first. A few days to adjust to everything and understand what has happened. But that choice has been taken from me.”
“Did you express this preference to him?”
“I had no opportunity. He made the announcement publicly. To object would have appeared untoward and contrary. And now I fear this is what our marriage shall be. There’s a chance my voice shall be diminished until I become merely an echo of his will.”
The words hung between them, stark and frightening in their honesty. This was her deepest fear, the nightmare that had haunted her through every moment since the ceremony concluded. Not that Fitzwilliam would prove cruel or unkind. She did not believe him capable of deliberate cruelty. But thathe would be thoughtlessly authoritative, making decisions for her rather than with her, assuming his judgment naturally superseded hers in all matters of consequence.
She would disappear. Not through malice, but through the slow erosion of a thousand small moments where her preferences went unasked, her opinions unvalued, her personhood gradually subsumed beneath the weight of his expectations and assumptions.
“Oh, Lizzy.” Wilhelmina set down the brush and rested both hands on her cousin’s shoulders, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “One decision made without consultation does not determine the entire course of your union.”
“Does it not? Everything has happened so quickly. The engagement, the ceremony, now this journey…all of it spinning beyond my control. I feel like I am being swept along by a current too strong to resist. And the worst part is that I cannot even articulate my objections without sounding petty and ungrateful.”
“Your feelings are not petty. They are valid and understandable. You have had precious little agency in these recent events. But you must speak with him. Tell him what troubles you. A marriage cannot function if one party harbours silent resentments whilst the other remains ignorant of the hurt they have caused.”
“I know.” Elizabeth sighed. “I shall. Once I have had time to order my thoughts properly. I cannot face such a conversation whilst everything still feels so raw.”
“Do not wait overlong,” Wilhelmina cautioned. “Small wounds fester when left unattended.”
They lapsed into silence as Wilhelmina finished with her hair, braiding it loosely for sleep. The rhythmic motion was soothing, a small anchor of normalcy in a day that had felt surreal from beginning to end. Eventually, Elizabeth stirred herself to ask after the matter that had nearly been forgotten amidst the chaos.
“What of Mr O’Sullivan? I never heard what transpired between you after we orchestrated your time together.”
Her cousin’s entire demeanour brightened. “Oh! Yes, there is positive news on that front, at least. Our conversation was brief, but he expressed heartfelt interest. He intends to call next week, properly, to continue our acquaintance.”
Elizabeth smiled, pleased. “That is wonderful. At least one romance may proceed with appropriate courtship and consideration.”
