I tug on the corner of my lip with my teeth. “I do, but I still can’t believe it.”
“Believe it.” He lifts my hand to kiss the back. “Believe it, because it’s going to continue being real while feeling as good as the best dream.”
I smile, turning my face until our noses touch, and I’m about to say something but then my phone goes off. I grunt, getting to my feet, and when I hear Travis’s name, I sit back down. “Why won’t he go away?”
“Because he’s trying to get under your skin.”
“But why?” I slam my fists at my sides. “He wanted to be free of me, so why can’t he let me be free of him?”
“Because you’re the one who wants it now.” His shoulder taps mine. “That’s why.”
My phone buzzes again and I sigh, standing up again to answer it. “What, Travis?”
Rafael hovers behind me, and I like feeling him close by. Even more when his large hand lands on my right shoulder.
“Baby, you answered. Fuck, do you sound so good. I miss you.”
“What do you want, Travis? I don’t have time for your little games right now.”
“I’m not calling to play games. I’m reaching out because I miss you. I couldn’t understand why I kept going over to your place to eat lunch or watch TV, but it all makes sense now. I can’t let those things go because it means I’m letting everything about you go.”
“You already let me go. You’re with someone new, remember?” My voice grows louder.
“Yes, and I think it might have been a mistake.”
“Yes, well, it’s too late to come back from it. Especially after you moved on before we even broke up.”
“Why does it have to be too late? Why can’t we talk some more about it. When the storm clears, maybe we can—”
“No. There is no more ‘we,’ and there never will be again. I’m done Travis, and I just wish I’d seen you for who you truly are sooner.”
“Baby—”
“Stop calling him that,” Rafael grumbles behind me. “And if you keep calling him, I’ll come over to where you are and make sure you’ll never be able to use your fingers to dial any number ever again. Am I fucking clear?”
The line goes quiet for too long while my heartbeat drums in my ears, and then Travis finally responds with, “Oh, I see your new boyfriend is there, or whatever the hell he is. He wasted no time getting you your key back and turning you more against me.”
“No, Travis.” My voice trembles. “You did that all by yourself, and yes he’s here, so if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do than sit here and listen to your bullshit.” I end the call and hit the block button without second-guessing it this time.
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” Rafael rubs my shoulders, brushing his lips over my ear. “You did that all on your own too. You didn’t need me or anyone else.”
“Yeah.” I smile. “But having you here never hurts anything.”
His arms wrap around me and he kisses my cheek. “Then how about I keep being here while we shower. After that I’ll show you what I have planned for us tonight.”
“Okay.” I turn around and he leads me to the restroom.
The shower’s water splatters against the tub seconds later and the trees move against the window outside too. The branches scrape the glass, and after hearing Travis’s voice on the phone, I’m back to worrying about him interrupting not only what this wonderful man has planned for me later, but everything afterthat too. He didn’t sound like he was willing to walk away as easily as he did before when I left for the cabin alone.
Did Rafael mean what he said when he threatened him? If he kept bothering me, would he really go over there and teach him a lesson? Would he do whatever it took to keep him from bothering me again? Do I want him to? He thinks I don’t know about the things he did. He thinks once I do, I’ll change my mind about him. But I do know. I looked up his name when he left the first time and yet I’m still here.
I know about him stalking his ex while he was sleeping, and how Rory woke up to him standing over the bed and holding a knife when his new boyfriend stayed over. I know all of it, and I welcomed him back into my cabin with open arms anyway. I tried to let myself be scared of what he could do to me, but the fear never came. The fear is still aimed at other places. Everywhere but him.
Steam wraps around us and he washes my body, his movements gentle. He kisses my shoulder and tells me how beautiful I am as he rolls a finger over a freckle on my hip, and I press into him tighter, embracing all of him as I move away from everything else. As I see everything else as a threat. He can’t always control what he does in his sleep, and he said he doesn’t always remember what happens then either. Maybe he had his reasons to be there, the same way he had a reason to kill that guy who broke into my home.
Yes, I’m well aware of that too, and once again, I still want him here. How can someone who keeps all the bad out be bad themselves? The radio was on this morning, and he shut it off after they said the robber’s bike was discovered a few miles from my house. I’d smelled the blood in the basement before he admitted what he did earlier, and I put two and two together. What’s even more messed up is me hoping what he said about Travis is true.
***
