“Yeah.” His face lowers, tongue peeking at the corner of his mouth. “I did it for me too. I was also selfish. I wanted you here longer. I thought as long as we were both getting something from it . . .” He sniffles, tears wetting his tinting cheeks. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m so sorry.” His voice shakes and I embrace him in a tight hug, kissing the side of his face.
“It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re both okay. No harm came from any of it.”
“It could have,” he says, rubbing his wet eyes into my shoulder. “And I kept doing it knowing the risks. That makes me a terrible person, doesn’t it?”
“No. It means you cared about me enough to take that extra step that no one else would.”
“It was wrong,” he pushes, sobbing some more. “You shouldn’t still want to be with me, and if you don’t, I understand. I . . .”
I rub at his back, kissing him some more. “And yet here I am, kissing you after making you lunch while thinking about how much better we’ll both be after we eat and get that cage off you.”
He sucks in a breath, lifting his head. “You really still want to do all that?”
“Yes.” I brush my thumb below each of his eyes. “Yes, I do. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere and I meant it. Snow or no snow.”
“I still don’t understand.” He presses a hand to my chest, backing away. “Why would you want to stay?”
“You answered why. You did this mostly for me. You wanted to help me. You do things out of consideration for others.” I don’t.
“But . . . if it were anyone else—”
“It’s not, though.” I press my fingers to his lips. “It’s me and you and that’s all it has to keep being. Just you and me.”
A muscle in his throat jumps. “Remember when I said I could fall in love with you?”
“I do.” My fingers slide down his neck.
“I think I might be past that. I think I’m fully on the ground with you, and I’ve never felt more steady on my feet. I’ve never felt more free to move. Even when you’re holding me in place or stopping me from talking in circles, I’m still moving.” He grabs my hand and places it over his heart. “I’m jumping and flying in here. Always.”
“And I’m right here being steady and moving right along with you.”
His eyes grow smaller and I press my lips to his, our breaths mingling as they’re being pulled from our lungs. Our tongues dance together, hands going everywhere and hearts pounding so hard it feels like there’s nothing resting between them. They’re as free as we both are right now.
Twenty-nine
Henry
After learning the truth, I expected Rafael to act differently and distance himself. If anything, it’s had the opposite effect. He’s touching and kissing me more. We’re playing in the snow, spinning around as more falls down on us and he tugs down my hat to cover my ears, pressing his cold lips to my cheek.
“Ready to go inside?”
I shake my head, breathing in the crisp air, the frigidness leaving a small sting at the back of my throat. “Not until we’ve made snow angels.”
He creates a gap between us and wraps a hand around mine. “Shall we, then?”
Nodding, I tighten my fingers on his and we kneel at the same time, and as soon as our bottoms hit the ground, we fling ourselves all the way back. Our hands touch as we move our arms down and I turn my face toward him, imagining he’s smiling at me the same way. The snow cuts through my clothes and I shiver. We move our limbs up and down a few more times before standing back up with our laughter surrounding us.
“How do they look?” I say, pointing my eyes at the ground. He guides my face more to the right.
“They’re great. Look nothing like angels, more like those flying monkeys from theWizard of Oz, but great.”
I bark out a laugh and he drags me inside. I rub my hands together, walking ahead of him as he shuts the door behind us. Huey greets us, sniffing at my shoes, and I shake them off near my usual spot.
“Someone wanted to make snow angels with us,” Rafael says with a wonderful lightness in his tone. It’s infectious. I get closer to it and we become nothing but tangled limbs crashing to the floor. Our clothes go flying off, and when I crawl to where I think the room is, one of my legs is tugged on and I’m colliding with the floor.
“Where are you going?”
“To the bed. Somewhere more comfortable.”
