"I created distance. There's a difference."
"Is there?" She stepped closer, refusing to let me hide. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you got scared of something good and decided to destroy it before it could destroy you."
"You don't understand—"
"I understand perfectly." Her voice cracked. "You felt something real. Something that made you hope. And you've spent your whole life learning that hope is dangerous. That caring about people gets them killed. So you pulled away to protect yourself."
"To protect you," I corrected, voice dropping. "To protect Leo."
"From what? From having a father who loves them?" Anger mixed with hurt now. "From having a family?"
"From me." The admission tore out of me, raw and desperate. "Everything I touch turns to ash eventually. The people I love end up dead or broken or wishing they'd never met me. That morning—when I looked at you and Leo and felt happy—I realized I was setting you both up for destruction. And I can't—" My voice broke. "I can't be the reason that light goes out."
Tears spilled over her cheeks. "So you're going to push us away instead? Keep us at arm's length while we live under the same roof?"
"If that's what it takes to keep you safe."
"Safe from what? From you?" She moved closer, closing the distance I'd tried to create. "You think you're protecting us by shutting us out? Leo cries himself to sleep, asking what he did wrong. I spend every day wondering if I imagined that morning. If I made up the man who looked at me like I mattered."
"You didn't imagine it." I couldn't meet her eyes. "That's the problem. It was real. Too real."
"And that scares you."
"It terrifies me." The honesty cost me, but she deserved it. "Because I've spent my life building walls. Keeping distance. Never caring too much about anything that could be taken away. And then you and Leo—you made me want things I never thought I could have. Made me believe, for one morning, that I could be more than what I am."
"You are more than what you are," she said fiercely. "That morning proved it. The way you made pancakes with Leo. The way you held my hand like it was precious. The way you looked at us—"
"Like I loved you," I finished, the words escaping before I could stop them.
She froze. "What?"
"Like I loved you. Both of you." I finally looked at her, letting her see everything I'd been hiding. "That's what terrified me. That's whyI ran. Because somewhere between hating you and being terrified of you, I fell in love. And I don't know how to do that without destroying everything."
Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "Cassian—"
"Don't." I stepped back, even though everything in me wanted to pull her close. "Don't tell me it'll be okay. Don't tell me I'm wrong. Because I've seen what happens when I care too much. My mother died because my father had enemies. Marcus died protecting you. Everyone I've ever loved has paid for it."
"That's not your fault—"
"It is." I thought of every loss, every death, every person who'd paid the price for my weakness. "This life destroys good things. You and Leo are the best things. And I will not—I cannot—be the reason you're destroyed too."
"So what?" Anger flashed through her tears. "You're just going to keep avoiding us? Keep Leo wondering why his father doesn't love him anymore?"
The words hit like a physical blow. "That's not—I do love him—"
"Then show him!" Her voice rose. "Stop hiding. Stop running. Stop destroying this family because you're afraid of caring too much!"
"I'm trying to protect you!"
"By breaking his heart?" She stepped forward, jabbing her finger into my chest. "By making me feel like I imagined everything good between us? That's not protection, Cassian. That's cowardice."
The word landed like she'd slapped me. "Maybe it is. But it's all I know how to do."
"Then learn something new." Her voice softened, broke. "Learn to stay. Learn to fight for this instead of against it. Learn to believe that maybe—just maybe—you deserve to be happy."
"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you or Leo or any of this."
"That's not your choice to make." She touched my face, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away. "I'm standing here, knowing exactly what you are, what you've done, what you're capable of. And I'm telling you that I love you anyway."
