I was just putting on mascara.
And that was when the phone rang.
The screen came up with a number not known to me and Ididn’t know what drove me to answer it.I never answered calls that I didn’tknow the caller because in most cases, they were marketing calls and no oneliked the aggravation of marketing calls.
But I answered the phone.
And it would take a great deal of time for me to make thedecision if I was glad I did, or wished I hadn’t.
“Hello?”I greeted.
“Rose, it’s me.”
My head dropped and I looked at the basin.
Beck.
I said nothing.
“I don’t got a lot of time.We don’t get a lot of phonecalls and there’s a line behind me and they aren’t real patient.”
“Beck—”
“I seriously fucked up and I know it.”
God.
He so did.
But it was alsosoover so it didn’t matter.
“Beck—”
“Turned my stomach,layin’ handson you.Almost got sick,watchin’ the boys go at you.Thought it was Cage you weredoin’ it for and thatwas the only reason I got that fire in my belly,thinkin’all we had was a lie and all the time we had together, your heart was with him.Still,shouldanever took it there.Never put myhands on a woman like that.Never thought I could be a man who would do that toa woman.Especially not the woman who meantsomethin’to me.Lay in this joint every night, notsleepin’, can’tget that shit outta my head, what I did to you.What I let them do to you.Evenduring the day, if I don’t fight it back, it gets stuck in my throat so bad, Ican’t breathe.”
There was something there that he gave me, knowing this.Knowing I had not made an entirely stupid-ass decision letting him into my lifeand heart.
It still didn’t matter.
“Okay, but Beck—”
“I love you.”
Oh no.
“Beck,” I whispered.
“And I’m sorry.”
That had my head snapping up and I stared at the mirrorunseeing, all his words during this phone conversation spiking through me.
“Beck—” I began urgently.
“Find a good one next time, baby,” he whispered, and now hiswords sent a chill through me.
“Beck!”I cried.
But he was gone.
