“The thing that you said I reallywannaget into, Rosie, is that you’d started falling for me.Considering what put ushere, I felt it was priority to state you got nothing to worry about withValenzuela and Bounty.But now we’re there.”
“I’d rather clear things up about Valenzuela and Bounty,” Ireplied.
“Baby, are you falling for me?”
It was a whisper, soft and sweet with snowy, blue eyesintent on me, like the next words I spoke were the words he’d been waiting forsince he’d started breathing.
“You’re…you’re…” God!“You’re Snap.”
His tone was the same when he confirmed, “I am but thatdoesn’t answer the question, Rosie.”
My tone matched his when I returned, “To me it does.”
His snowy blue eyes started flaming as he muttered, “Fuck,now I’m not hungry and instead Iwannajump youthrough the butter chicken.”
From what I’d eaten, I could tell the food he got wascrazy-good and I’d been hungry.
But now I wasn’t.I also wasn’t feeling nervous or shy.Ijust wanted him to jump me.
Even so, we needed to stay on target.
“I don’t want you to think I’ll find someone else when I’mwith you,” I whispered.
“Rosie, do you think I’d besittin’right here…hell,you’dbesittin’ right hereif I thought that?”
That made sense.
But still.
“I need you to know.I need to say the words.I need you tounderstand I know that was there and how it happened and it’s still all aboutyou.It was messy and crazy and scary but you came through all that, solid andstrong and protective, and it became about that.But it feels wrong because itwas all the first parts.”
“It’s not wrong, Rosalie.”
“I want to make sure you believe that.”
“I can assure you, baby, that I believe that.”
I wished that worked.
It just didn’t.
Not for me.
Because I knew how it was supposed to be.
“My mom…my dad…” I shook my head hard, trying to shake somesense into the words I had to say so he’d understand how important they were,“there was no one else for her and no one else for him.It wasn’t about being acouple and forsaking all others.When they got together, the world justvanished.They functioned in it and I came along and they made me part of theirworld, but it was just us.There was family and there were friends, but in theend, it was just us.They never shared, either of them, but at least for Mom,outside going to the prom with somebody, I don’t think there was anyone beforehim for her.I know my grandparents were freaked he was so much older than herbut then Dad was Dad and he won them around.”
“You cannot live your parents’ life, honey,” he said gently.
I nodded.“No, I get that.I totally do.That’s not what I’msaying.I’m saying I’d want the man I decided on to know there was no one forme but him.That I want our lives and our children to be our world.I want theend result of what they had but it’s not even that.I’d want my man to knowdown to his bones that was what he was getting from me.”
“And you think, we go to that place, because of how thisbegan, I’ll question that,” he deduced.
“I think you’re brothers with Shy, so that history is justplain in your face, and then I was with Beck when things started, and I thinklife happens, arguments happen, and it would kill me if anything ever shookyour understanding it’s only you.”
“Baby, when we make love later, you’regonnafind out I’m notcomin’ to you a virgin.”
I put my plate to my lap, leaned his way and said, “It’s notthe same.”
