I might even be able to learn to live with the fact that aman I trusted and thought I loved had not only brought me to that hell, he’dalso delivered his share of it.
Sure, I’d broken his trust.I’d informed on him and hisbrothers’ activities to Chaos, setting them up to be taken down by the cops.
But let us not forget, they were able to beset up to betaken down by the cops.This meant they were doing felonious crap.Thatfelonious crap being providing transport for illegal substances and firearms,offering this service to really bad guys.
So sure, I could see, if he found out, Beck being reallyfreaking pissed at me.Yelling at me.Breaking it off with me.That was, if hedidn’t give me the chance to explainwhyI’d done it in the firstplace, that being forhim.
Well, not so much for him, I’d realized.
But I couldn’t think about that right then.
I had to think about the fact I survived.I was alive.Walking, talking, eating, breathing, and someday soon I’d again be laying pizzapies on tables for tips.
What I would not be doing was getting involved with a man,maybe ever again.
Seriously.
That might seem dramatic, but the first man I fell for, ShyCage of the Chaos Motorcycle Club, had shown me a window to a world I wantedand the doorway I wanted to use to get to that was Shy because Shy was Shy.Hewas beautiful to look at and fantastic in bed, but he was also funny and sweetand protective and affectionate.
He was my dad (not that I knew about the “fantastic in bed”part with my dad, but from the time I understood the concept of sex, mom’sdreamy looks and dad’s cat-got-his-cream moods were not lost on me—gross, butnot lost on me).
So Shy was all that…including having all of it on a bike.
But he dropped me like a hot brick the minute Tabitha Allengave him indication that her doorway was open.He slammed the one on me andwaltzed right through hers without a second thought.
Looking back, I knew as I fell deeper and deeper for himthat he wasn’t doing the same.
That didn’t make it any better.
Now, also looking back, I knew as I got deeper and deeperinto things with Beck that I was trying to find what I’d hoped to get with Shy.
They both belonged to motorcycle clubs, for one.
And Beck looked a lot like Shy for another (which, not so bythe by, was a lot like my dad looked).Beefier, maybe.A bit rougher around theedges.But I definitely had a type.
And then came Snapper.
God, Snapper.
Nope.
No.
No more men for me.
Seriously.
Shy.
Then Beck?(Enough said there.)
And then there was Snap.
I closed my eyes and shook my head just as I heard a knockon the bathroom door.
“Sweetie,” Mom called through the door.“You been in there along time.You okay?”
She was worried about me.
