He also remembered the expression on her face.
And he had to stop brushing, because suddenly, he felt likehe was going to hurl.
He spit.
Rinsed.
Put his brush back in Archie’s holder.
And bracing his hands in the sink, he went back to staringat himself in the mirror.
“That fridge wasn’t gonna spit a beer at her,” he said tohimself.“My father would never let his wife sit with an empty bottle withoutbringing her another beer.”
He dropped his head and closed his eyes.
If your mom was even one percent like you, how your dadgot over losing her…
After his dad died, Jag’s mother had lost herself in grieffor nearly twenty years before she pulled her shit together.
That was the man his father was.
That was the magnitude of her loss.
I hope I’m a lot like her.I try to be.
“Christ,Christ,” he bit off toward the sink.
He got it then.
He knew what was eating at him.
And it was huge.
Unwieldy.
And ultimately unanswerable.
Because he was grappling with how he could give Archie allhe should be if he didn’t know who to be.
He wanted to give her a love that wouldn’t die even withdeath.
The kind of love his mom had with his dad.
And the man who could give him that not only had he nevermet…
They had no chance in hell ever to meet.
Yeah.
What was eating him was huge.
Unwieldy.
And lost to him forever.
ChapterSixteen
Free to Be
