But the good kind.
“I liked them.”
“Thank fuck,” he mumbled.
I smiled against his skin.
And there, I informed him, “The day I met you, Smithie and Ihad a conversation.”
I heard his head move on the pillow, so I tipped minefurther back in order to catch his eyes in the moonlight.
“About what?”he asked.
“About the fact I was giving up since I hadn’t found mydream man and never thought I would.”
His big body grew still against mine.
“Then, hours later,” I carried on, “he walks right up andknocks on my door.”
It was guttural when he groaned, “Baby.”
But I didn’t need to hear the emotion.
I was feeling it since he was squeezing the breath out ofme.
I let him, knowing he’d do what he did.
Relax his hold but keep me close.
I thought this was a good way to start the festivities backup.
But unusually in times like this (and other times besides),Mo was feeling chatty.
He shared this by saying, “You got that wrong.”
“I do?”
“Not wholly, but importantly.”
“How do I have that wrong?”
“I’d given up too.After Tammy, I was done.I thought it wasme.I thought it was my shit that was driving them away.Then one day my bosshands me an assignment, and not an hour later, I walk right up and knock on thedoor to the house of my dream girl.And she made me see a lot of really fuckin’important shit differently.”
“Mo,” I whispered.
His big hand shifted to cup my face as his dipped closer tomine.
“I don’t know what’sgonnahappen,baby.I know some of it probably isn’tgonnabegreat.But who you are and what you give to me, most ofit’sgonnabe awesome.You know I have bad dreams and theymay never stop.I don’t want that for me, or for you.But I can handle it a lotbetter now,knowin’ I’ll get those and wake up to myreal dream, right there beside me.”
It was my voice that was hoarse when I declared, “We need tofuck right now.”
“Yeah, we do,” he agreed.
But he didn’t fuck me.
Not immediately.
He kissed me, hard, deep and for a long time.
