A guard slammed down on her face, but her mouth didn’t quitmoving.
“Are you holding out for that, sis?Because, sure, I can seethat.You love the guy.But also, no.He’s got it made.He comes and gets hisbusiness, then he goes, no strings, no commitments.”
Oh no.
Now I was getting mad at Toni.
Or maybe I was getting mad at the situation because it wasdragging on forever.
But still, I was getting mad at Toni.
“You don’t know how it is.”
“Do you?”
That was the ten-million-dollar question.
I looked away and took a sip of my mojito.
“Unh-hunh,” she mumbled.
“That envelope I get every month doesn’t say no strings, nocommitments,” I sniped.
She got to the meat of it.
“It also doesn’t sayDad,” she told me.“He’s evenpulling away from Tony, have you noticed?”
I had.
Liam and Tony were tight, now it was like…not like he didn’tlove his Uncle Tony, just like he didn’t need him like he used to.
Like he was getting accustomed to it being him and me andthat was going to be all he had.
I looked around the backyard, trying to locate my son.
When I didn’t see him, I knew where he was.
In the front drive, shooting hoops at the basketball goalDad had mounted for him.
Shooting hoops alone.
I stood, saying, “I need to find my son.”
Toni caught my hand.I looked down at her.
“I’m worried too,” she said.“You were a teen mom, lost, butnot alone.You found your way.Now you’re twenty-six, living your life for aman who shows in your bedroom one night every couple of months for nookie withno promises.”She shook her head and squeezed my hand before I could sayanything I’d regret.“No, I’m not being cruel, I’m being real, because I’mworried.Don’t say anything and don’t get mad.Just think about what I had tosay.”
“I’ll think about what you had to say,” I said between myteeth.
She gave my hand a squeeze and let go.“That’s all I ask.”
I took off, trying not to feel all I was feeling, somethingthat was getting tired.
Because I’d been feeling it now for years, along withputting in the effort not to feel it.
Mom and Dad were worried, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Toni too, also not a surprise.
