And when Toni and Tony moved in together, and were in themarket for a new couch, and I’d gone with her to look, and oohed and aahed overthe furniture.Darius was at my place late that night, telling me I was goingto get a delivery in three days, and someone needed to be at my townhousebetween noon and four to accept it.
That “it” being entirely new living room furniture, all thepieces I most oohed and aahed over.
So out went the ratty, secondhand furniture I’d scroungedfrom relatives and friends, and in went classy, expensive stuff I probablywould be able to afford only after Liam finished college.
A week later, he was back, sharing someone had to be aroundfor another delivery, and that one was our flat screen TV.
Of course, there were three Christmases and Liam’s threebirthdays, when Darius brought wrapped gifts for his son, but all the cardssaid they were from Santa…or me.
How he knew Liam’s birthday, I didn’t know, because hedidn’t ask me.
He also didn’t give me the opportunity to ask him.
In all that time, with all those visits, he never clappedeyes on his son (that I knew).He never asked to see him, not so much as towalk upstairs and watch him sleeping.
And he never hung around enough for us to have aconversation.
He told me what he was going to do to take care of me, ofus, and then he vanished.
Okay, not vanished, he wasn’t a superhero.He walked out.But he made no bones about it and took great pains not to be waylaid, thosepains beingmypains, since he gave me a wide berth and exited,pronto.
I was confused by all of this.
Toni was confused by all of it.
But the only person who could explain it was in my life, inmy son’s life, in very real ways.
Except he wasn’t.
And the way he was, he gave no explanation.
It had occurred to me I could probably track down Eddie andask him, but something stopped me.
Not something, I knew what it was.
I loved Darius.
This was all he felt he could give.
And since I loved him, I was letting him give what he couldhow he could give it and not push for more.
I suspected Toni knew I was doing this, but in thatscenario, she loved me.So she didn’t push it either.
By the way, that five thousand dollars was still on mykitchen counter the first of every month, and my rent was paid, and never byme.
In fact, I had enough (actually, more than enough) to make adown payment on a house, and I was considering it because Liam was going to bein school next year—real, big-boy school, first grade.And I needed to settleinto a school district that was good for him in a home he could count on.
“What ground?”Lena pushed, cutting into my thoughts.
“I’ll just…ask around,” I said lamely.
“Me too.And Tony too.He knows everybody.He’ll get theskinny,” Toni added.
This mollified Lena because I had no ground to put my earto.My life was my job, my kid, and every once in a while, going out with Toniand/or Lena, but always getting home before nine so Mom or Dad or one of theaunties or cousins could go home after babysitting Liam.
But Toni did not lie.Her man knew everybody.
“Okay, now that I’m over that one-two punch of Eddie andLee, um…does anyone but me think it’s weird they showed up?”Lena asked.
