“No, but I stood in your own damned living room, with yourbrother and your dad, both in pain because you hadn’t shared, you hadn’t askedthem to be at your side through this, and I figure it isn’t a stretch thatevery brother who wears your patch would feel the same way.”
He shut up.
“They are not going to vote this down, Dutch.They’re goingto feel angry and betrayed you went this alone.And they’re going to feel paintoo, because you’re drifting away when you are the bones of them.”
Her words made something in his chest squeeze.
Hard.
“What?”
“You’re him.”
And at that, his stomach started to churn so much, hethought he’d be sick.“I’m not.”
“Dutch, both of you are.”
“Georgiana, don’t talk shit you don’t know.”
“My God, Dutch!”she exclaimed, throwing up her hands inexasperation.“Carolyn has beenstealingfrom your brotherforyearsto feed adrug habitand Jagger wasjustifiably angrywhen he found out.He called her an ugly name and within secondsapologizedto mebecause he said that about my sister when I was around.That is yourfather.That is Jagger.That isyou.”
Dutch stared at her.
“You’re right, I never had and never will have the absolutehonorof meeting your father.And you’re right times two, all I know about him isthat film, and getting to knowyou.You look like him.And you look atme like he looks at the camera in pictures I’ve seen of him—”
“Stop talking.”
“And you held Murtagh like he held you—”
“Stop talking.”
“And Murtagh is justa cat.God works in mysteriousand sometimes hideous ways that are still wondrous.He took away Graham Black.But when He did, He left the world with two of him.Jaggerand you.”
He surged up, taking hold of her, and landed on her with heron her back.
She let out a puff of air.
“Stop fuckingtalking,” he bit out.
She stopped talking.
He scowled at her until, like he couldn’t hold it upanymore, his head dropped, his forehead slamming into hers.
She didn’t make a peep.
He shut his eyes, tight.
And then she spoke.
“You miss him,” she whispered.
His throat closed, he moved to shove his face in her neck,and it came out strangled when he said, “Yes.”
He’d been five.
But he never forgot his dad.
You don’t.
