Then my eyes landed on Elise’s face, and I regretted my decision to pull up. I successfully avoided Elise since that day at her crib, and the way my heart sank when I saw her facetold me I did the right thing by avoiding her. Elise’s hold on me was clearly stronger than my disdain because the anguish on her face still tugged at my heart. I had to remind myself not to lick her wounds. After offering quick hugs to Mrs. Nina and Ms. Candace, I shuffled towards the backyard to distance myself from Elise.
Hearing that she killed our baby shattered my world and everything I thought we were building. Various emotions consumed me at different times over the weeks. I was angry thinking about how our life could’ve been with our son or daughter here. Then resentment smacked me when I thought about Elise not wanting to have a child with me. Above all else, I was furious about being left in the dark, but she went and told her parents, completely robbing me of any say in the matter. I could be honest and admit that I would’ve done my best to convince Elise to keep the baby, but it was her choice at the end of the day. We definitely would’ve ended everything we had going on right there. That I could confirm one thousand percent. With our history, I at least expected that type of respect from Elise.
“Rashawn, you’re childish for not coming over to speak with us,” Faith shouted at my back.
“Faith, stop,” Elise urged her.
I didn’t bother responding. Instead, I slid the sliding back door and net closed. Faith’s snide remark told me that she was Elise’s new confidant, and I didn’t know how I felt about that. Then I realized that wasn’t my damn business and took the seat next to Nariyah’s cousins.
“Wassup, ladies. I’m Rashawn. What’s y’all names again? Y’all are Nariyah’s cousins, right?”
“That’s correct. I’m Melissa, and this is Tyra,” the one directly next to me offered introductions.
“It’s nice to see you, ladies, again,” I smiled.
My phone vibrated, and I whipped it out to see a text from an unsaved number. It was probably Faith’s phone, but it was definitely Elise texting.
352-555-5555: Of all the empty seats at that table that’s where you chose to sit?
Me: Bye Elise.
I blocked the number and slid the phone back into my pocket.
“Y’all put any more thought into moving down here? This is my second time seeing y’all in what? Two months?”
“We would be too homesick. But we can easily come down to visit now that Nariyah has extra space for us, and we only have to pay for flights. The last few times we crossed paths you seemed so mean. You must’ve had a girlfriend then, and you’re single now,” she flirted.
“Something like that,” I nodded, reaching over to grab the bottle of water positioned near the plate.
The table decor was geared towards Elise, just like the menu. Yellow plasticware was placed on top of a black tablecloth. Four large sunflower bouquets in glass vases were strategically placed along the center of the table. The sliding glass door opened again, and chatter sounded off behind us. Essex came over and dapped me up while I wished him a happy early birthday. When Essex pulled away to take his seat next to Nariyah at the other end of the table, I smelled Elise’s perfume permeating near me. I held my breath, hoping Elise would find another seat besides the one next to me. My body finally relaxed when she claimed the head seat opposite Essex, and Faith sat next to her.
I felt their eyes on me, but chose to ignore them for the duration of dinner. We all watched while the hibachi chef introduced himself and got the show started.
“So we’ve established that you’re newly single, are you open to mingling again?” Tyra questioned towards the end of dinner.
“Definitely,” I responded between bites of fried rice.
A platter filled with crab rangoon and gyoza was placed on the table in front of us. I reached for the tongs and my hand brushed against Tyra’s.
“You just wanted to touch me,” she giggled.
“Your hands are soft, so I didn’t mind,” I laughed.
We continued conversing through dinner, and I felt Elise’s eyes on me a few times, but I ignored them. When dinner was over, everyone abandoned the table, but I remained in my seat conversing with Tyra in the empty backyard. She was beautiful. A high school teacher like Elise, with a jovial spirit to match. The similarities only made me think about Elise, and that made me want to cut the conversation short, but I didn’t want to be rude to Nariyah’s cousin. I smelled and heard Elise approaching from behind in the silent backyard and took a deep breath. That was my cue to exit the party.
“Rashawn, can we speak in private?” Elise questioned, her voice threatening to crack.
“Nah, I’m good,” I declined, not bothering to look up at her. I knew those eyes were searing into the side of my head, and her nostrils were flaring. Tyra’s eyes diverted between both of us, searching for answers she’d never get.
“Rashawn, can we please talk in private?”
“I heard you clearly the first time you asked, and my answer still remains. We don’t have shit to discuss. You did the talking with the people who mattered when it mattered. Let’s keep it that way,” I retorted, and Tyra’s eyes went from me to Elise. Tyra was locked in like she was anticipating a response for the soap opera unfolding in front of her.
After a few moments of silence, Tyra’s voice chimed in. “I don’t think he wants to talk sis.”
“BEAT IT BITCH!” Elise snapped on her, and the malice in her elevated tone had everyone spilling out of the sliding glass door to see what was going on.
“Bitch?” Tyra mocked, standing from her seat.
