“Nope, that’s not what happened, and I really don’t care anymore, so I’ll give you the full story, but we have to keep it brief because my baby is in the cold. Jean is reallymy grandmother. My biological mother is actually my sister Michelle.”
“You’re lying,” I accused. Her sister Michelle still sang in the choir, and I knew she wasn’t anywhere near my parents’ age range.
“I only wish that wasn’t my reality,” she lamented, and the anguish on her face told me she wasn’t lying. “Our dad wanted my mom to give me up for adoption, but my grandma pushed back on that with the promise to raise me like I was her own,” Faith detailed, then got this distant look on her face. “I hated your guts since the day I accidentally learned the truth.”
“I doubt the hate is past tense,” I quipped.
“You’re right about that, but after the way I behaved at the Fall Festival in front of my son, I realized I had to let that hatred go. Even while one of the nurses at the church checked out my arm, Pastor Hunter still went to check on you and ignored my presence. My issue is with him, and that’s why I don’t care to hold on to his secrets anymore. I’m in therapy now and just started medication for anxiety and depression. I’ve been wrestling with telling you and Essex since the last time we saw each other, but here we are. You pried it out of me before I ever thought I would.”
Faith clicked around on her phone for a few moments then flashed the phone in front of my face. When I accepted the phone, I read over the child support payment agreement between my dad and Mrs. Jean for Faith Elaine Mitchell. As I kept scrolling, there was also a DNA test included to prove paternity. We were only three months apart, which meant our mothers were pregnant at the same time. All the new information I was digesting made my stomach queasy.
“That sick feeling you’re experiencing is exactly how I felt when I found those papers when we were cleaning out the garage. I was in fifth grade, and these papers changed my life.When I confronted Michelle with those papers, she told me to stay in a child’s place and went to get my mom, who then swore me to secrecy.”
“It all makes sense now. I received years of bullying and discomfort for my father’s sins. I remember telling my parents how you were always so mean to me and how you were the ringleader of all the little girls who would pick on me growing up. They said and did nothing,” I reflected, looking straight ahead.
“I want to sincerely apologize about all of that. I’m a work in progress,” Faith murmured. “I’ve always envied you because I felt you lived the life I dreamed of. Still do.”
“How so? You don’t even know my business. I don’t even live in Brooksville anymore. How can you be so sure I still live your dream life? Even my childhood was far from a dream. The oversized clothes that you never seemed to miss, the lack of freedom, and strict parents. I had to sneak and Essex had to scheme for me to even join the wrestling team.”
“They might’ve been strict, but you had our dad in your life. Meanwhile, it was just me and my mom, who is really my grandma, while my real mom still pretends to be my sister to this day. Our relationship never recovered after I found those papers. It’s as if she hates me for discovering the truth. They all still go to that church with my secrets tucked into their back pockets. It’s sick,” Faith vented and I heard her voice crack.
“Why didn’t you give some of that hate to Essex?” I questioned, just curious. She never bothered him and he was a child of our father as well.
“Misogyny,” she shrugged. “I’m working on that too.”
I chuckled at her honesty. My face scanned hers for any resemblance. There was none, she looked just like her maternal family, but Khalil was our people through and through. “What?” Faith questioned, probably creeped out by my dazed stare.
“I was silently admiring your ability to live in your truth. Even at eighteen, you had Khalil, faced the scrutiny of the church head on, and now you have a happy, healthy, wrestling six foot son. He wrestles like his auntie,” I exhaled, fighting the emotions that wanted to swallow me whole.
“Me, on the other hand, I had an abortion eight years ago. Even at twenty-eight, I wasn’t brave enough to face the type of judgment that would follow having a child out of wedlock,” I sighed, unsure why Faith was the first person I voluntarily divulged that information to. My parents only knew about the abortion because they went snooping. However, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I blurted out my biggest sin. Tears streamed down my face, and Faith shocked me when she leaned over in the seat to embrace me in a hug. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry that day, but our conversation foiled that.
“I might not have had an abortion, but I let my family talk me into adoption. Especially after Khalil came outlookingjust like the twins,” Faith switched her voice up to sound like she smoked a pack of cigarettes, just like Mrs. Jean. We laughed for a moment before she continued. “The generational curse shit is real. It definitely trickled down. I didn’t raise Khalil, he was raised by his father from the moment I mentioned adoption. His family wasn’t going for that, and I’m so thankful for them every day. I couldn’t imagine my life without Khalil in it. Even if I didn’t do any of the heavy lifting, I still know who he is, and I still get to be in his life.”
Khalil opened the backseat and leaned in to face us. “Can I please get back in the truck? It’s cold out here.”
“Get in. We can continue our conversation at a later time,” I affirmed, pulling out of Faith’s embrace to dry my tears.
Faith offered a weak smile as Khalil slid back into the truck. “What now?” She questioned.
“I don’t know. You’ve been sitting with this since what? Fifth grade? I’m still processing. I’m not even sure how you were able to process this type of information at that age.”
“Well, as I’m sure you can tell, I didn’t really take the news well. It led to a life of bitterness,” Faith mumbled.
“You were a child who shouldn’t have been put in a position to hold onto those types of secrets.”
“Yeah, my therapist said something similar,” she nodded.
“Do you mind if I tell Essex?”
“I don’t mind. Khalil lives in Pasco with his dad. Maybe he can get to know you guys since he’s closer to y’all.”
“Oh my goodness, Mr. Spider-Man. Where is he?” I perked up at the thought of her handsome younger son.
“Marlon had a fever, so his dad kept him while I came to Khalil’s tournament. Then Khalil’s dad had to work late tonight or else he would’ve been here. Having two baby daddies comes in handy sometimes,” she giggled.
“I hear you,” I nodded. “I’m actually going to Brooksville tonight. If you want to cancel the Uber, I can take you guys.”
“You sure? I can just take an Uber. I don’t want you to drive all the way out there and then have to drive back that late.”
