They got me checked in and gossiped with Mrs. Jean while I sat waiting for my name. We were clearly the first appointment of the day, and I barely got to talk mess in my head before my name was called. I was led to the back to provide a urine sample before we were herded into an exam room. The room was freezing, and goosebumps prickled my skin. Although I couldn’t definitively say it was the cold causing the pilomotor reflex, because my nerves were also all out of whack. I was expecting the mundane checkup, not a visit to the gynecologist.
A gentle knock appeared at the door. “Come in,” my mother sang.
The door slowly swung open, and the doctor seemed startled by three occupants in the room. I sat in a chair beside my mother, and my father leaned up against the wall on the opposite side of her.
“Wow, good morning. Room full this morning,” she remarked. The young black doctor wore a fashionable dress, cute kitten heels, and her Senegalese twists were pulled up into a high bun on top of her head. “Who is the patient today?”
“That would be my daughter Elise,” my mother announced, pointing to me as the doctor strutted inside. “I have been coming here for years, seeing Dr. Nevil, but he wasn’t able to squeeze Elise in before she leaves for college today. We got this appointment because of a cancellation.”
“Oh, okay. Nice to meet you guys. I’m Dr. Lawrence,” she introduced herself before clicking around on her laptop. “Elise, you’re eighteen, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I nodded.
“I like to spend a portion of the visit alone with my patient. Would you mind if I asked your parents to step out for a bit?”
I moved to open my mouth and tell Dr. Lawrence that my parents could skedaddle, but the look my father shot me made me change my tune.
“No, they can stay,” I offered a faint smile.
“Okay, that’s fine. Would you mind taking a seat here for me?” She gently tapped the exam table. I rose from my chair and claimed the seat in the center of the room with all eyes on me. “This is your first visit to the gynecologist, correct?”
“That’s correct,” I replied.
Dr. Lawrence went on to ask questions about my first period, whether I had any pain, itching, or discharge, which were all quick nays, before explaining what was and was not normal. Then she started checking my blood pressure while posing the question that I wish I’d never have to answer again.
“Have you ever had vaginal, anal, or oral sex?”
“I have not,” I affirmed, head held high, unwavering because that was the truth.
She nodded and closed her laptop, placing it on the counter behind her. “Do you have any questions for me?”
“Ummm, not that I can think of.”
“Okay. Next, I’m going to perform a brief abdominal exam. It’s non-invasive, I’m going to check the external area and gently feel your abdomen,” she explained, slowly swiping her hand over her lower stomach. “It’s quick and painless. I just need you to change into this paper gown,” she passed me a pile of thin paper.
“Ummm, we’d actually like the full pelvic exam,” my mother chimed in. “Just to verify that the hymen is intact and make sure nothing’s been going on down there.”
Dr. Lawrence’s face dropped, and her head snapped towards my parents.
“Just to clarify, we don’t perform a pelvic exam until age twenty-one, regardless of sexual activity. Even if that weren’t the current medical guidelines, a pelvic exam wouldn’t provide any useful information. An intact hymen doesn’t equal virginity,” Dr. Lawrence rebutted in a singsong tone. My mother didn’t attempt to hide the disdain on her face. Her nose was tooted up, and herthinly arched brows were raised. “Any other questions from the parents?”
“Ummm…” My mother started to speak, but my father cut her off before she could admonish the doctor the way she wanted to.
“None at all. Thank you for the information,” my father nodded, pulling my mother up from her seat.
“Of course. Now, if we could clear the room so Elise can get undressed for the abdominal exam. The room will have to be clear for that.”
My mother gripped her purse tightly and stormed out of the exam room. While my face was stoic, I was internally cheering Dr. Lawrence on as she strutted out of the exam room behind them. I quickly got undressed and threw on the paper gown before relaxing on the exam table. Dr. Lawrence returned a few minutes later and performed the abdominal exam. It was painless like she mentioned, a few gentle presses on my lower stomach, took a quick look at my lady parts, and then it was over.
“I’d like to give you a heads up that your mother was not happy with my decision. So much so that she was requesting the next available appointment with Dr. Nevil for you. If anyone tries to force that procedure on you, it’s not okay, and it should be reported. Advise them that you will be reporting them to a patient advocate and the medical board. Here is my card. You call me, and I’ll walk you through the process if it comes to that,” she asserted, pulling a card from her pocket.
“Thank you so much,” I accepted the card, on the brink of tears. “I’m going to FAMU to start summer classes tomorrow, and I hope to go to school year round until I graduate so I don’t have to come back home.”
“Congratulations, beautiful. Don’t let your parents steal these momentous moments from you. I can see the sadness behind those eyes. You are about to start the rest of your life.You’re a young adult, eighteen years old, keep that in mind when it comes to your parents,” she commented.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. What are you going to school for?” Dr. Lawrence inquired as she washed her hands.
