Henry steps closer, his eyes pleading. "It doesn't have to affect us at all, Emma. This is my problem to deal with. I just need time to figure it out. I need to finish the contract or find a way out. But I don't want to lose you while I do."
The desperation in his voice tugs at something deep insideme, but I can't ignore the sinking feeling in my chest. "Henry, I can't be in the middle of this."
"You're not in the middle," he insists. "I'll keep you out of it."
"That's not the point," I say, my voice trembling. "The point is that this is part of your life, whether you want it to be. And if we're going to be something real, I can't be with someone halfway in and halfway out."
He looks stricken, like my words have physically hurt him. "Emma, I am in this with you. I want to be with you. Please don't let this ruin what we have."
I swallow hard, my heart aching at the sight of him. "Let me ask you something. What happens if you stay in Honey Grove? Are you going to quit your teaching job? Are you going to write another novel? Even with Jenn still in the picture, everything seems so up in the air. I wish I had the kind of life where none of that stuff mattered, but it does.
My life is here with Milo, and I can't be with someone who could easily leave and never look back. I need to know that we have a future together. That you see a future with me."
Henry stares at me, his mouth opening like he wants to answer, but nothing comes out. The silence stretched between us.
"I want to see a future with you," he finally says, his voice thick. "I do, Emma. But you're right. I don't know how to make that happen or what comes next."
I take a shaky breath, my resolve wavering but not breaking. "Then you need to figure it out. With Jenn, with this contract—with all of it. Because I can't be with someone who doesn't know what they want."
"I know what I want," he says quietly. "I want you."
I swallow the lump in my throat and shake my head. "I wish it were that simple, Henry. I need you to show me that you can handle this and be all in. And then when you do, I'll be here."
His eyes search mine, and I can see the battle he's fighting with himself. His face is riddled with the fear of losing me and the weight of the choices he's made.
Finally, he nods. "I'll figure it out,Pajarito. I promise."
I nod back, my throat too tight to speak. Then, without another word, I step past him and unlock my door. I leave him standing alone on the porch as I close it.
Inside, I press my back to the cool surface of the door and let my body collapse to the floor. Hot, wet tears drip onto my cheeks and into the crevice of my lips. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop the pain from consuming every inch of me. I tell myself that I did the right thing. That love isn’t enough without stability.
But as I sit there, my chest heaving uncontrollably, I can stop the doubt from creeping in. What if I was wrong?
What if I pushed Henry away for good because I was too afraid to believe in him? Too afraid to believe in us? Once again, I let the fear control my life, crippling my heart with each fatal decision.
CHAPTER 24
Soft chatter fills the library as Henry’s writing group sets up for their reading night. I stand near the back of the room, trying to push aside the heaviness in my chest.
I wasn’t going to come tonight. My conversation with Henry still feels fresh, and being in the same room is difficult. I can still hear the desperation in his voice, but I can’t ignore the uncertainty I’m carrying.
Wren squeezes my hand, and it surprises me. I almost forgot she was here. I look over, and she gives me a warm smile of encouragement.
“Where’s Milo?” I question, searching the room for my son.
“He’s coloring in the corner with some of the other kids,” she answers, pointing across the room.
I glance over and see his bright smile lighting up at whatever he’s working on. The scene brings a calmness over my body. It’s a gentle reminder that no matter how complicated things get with Henry, I have bigger things to focus on. I might not always be the best mother, but I will make sure Ialways try my hardest to give him a good life. No matter what.
I try to remember that feeling when my eyes float to Henry’s mop of brown curls at the front of the room. He’s speaking with a few teenagers from his writing group, adjusting his glasses and moving his hands as he explains something. Even from here, I can see the passion in his expression as he talks about their writing. My heart thumps against my chest.
Wren nudges my shoulder. “You okay?”
I nod quickly, trying to cover up the pain seeping through my skin. “Yeah. I’m just thinking.”
She raises an eyebrow, her tone light but knowing. “About him?”
I glance over at Henry again. His back is turned to me, but I can still feel the tension of everything hanging between us. It crackles through the air, sharp and unresolved. “I know I told him to give me space until he figures things out, but this feels like torture.”
