She looks up from the intense game of Solitaire she’s currently playing on the library computer and smiles. “You’re right on time, sweetie. No need to apologize.”
Although I only briefly interacted with Evelyn on a daily basis, she reminded me a lot of my Nana—well, at least before all the drama with my mom. Her cozy, warm personality made me feel safe.
“Okay,” I smile back. “Was it busy today?” I ask, trying to make chit-chat as she gathers her things to head home.
“There were some new faces in here for story time today, but other than that it’s been slow. There’s only one person in here right now. A young girl that’s been sitting in the corner for the past two hours.”
My eyes snap to the area Evelyn nods to, and I notice the dark brunette immediately. She looks content with her head resting on her right hand and the large paperback spread across the table in front of her. I go to turn back to Evelyn when I notice her eyelids becoming heavy.
“Hey, Evelyn. I’m going to check on that girl over there. If I don’t see you before you leave, have a great weekend.” Evelyn gives me a knowing smile and a curt nod before picking up her purse.
I approach Julia with light footsteps, being careful not to scare her. I gently clear my throat when I’m close enough for her to hear me. Julia startles, her head snapping up. Her eyes are wide and guarded for a second before she blinks, trying to place me. Once she does, she reigns in her expression.
“Hey,” I say, taking the seat across from her at the table. “Do you mind if I sit?” She nods slowly, and my heart cracks a little, remembering how upbeat she was just a few days ago. “Everything okay?”
She straightens her back and brushes one of the loose hairs from her bun behind her ear. They’re quick, fidgetymovements, and I wince when I realize I’m making her feel uncomfortable. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just reading.”
I glance at the open book in front of her, but based on the crease in the spine, it’s clear she hasn’t turned the page in a while. I swallow hard and say, “You sure? You look like you’ve had a long day.”
She shrugs, her gaze darting away from mine. “It’s not a big deal.”
I take a slow breath and lean back in my chair. I didn’t want her to feel like I was grilling her, but I also wanted her to talk to me. Some days, I needed a bit of extra coaxing to get out of my shell, and when I finally did, I felt so much better.
“When I was your age, I used to come to the library a lot, too. I liked how quiet it was. It gave me a break from everything.” It was mostly true. I did come to the library a few times, but I was stretching the truth to make her feel comfortable.
Her eyes flick to me, then back down the table. “Yeah, I guess,” she mumbles. “I just needed some space.”
I sit up straighter and rest my arms on the table. “I get that. Sometimes space is the only thing that makes sense when everything else feels overwhelming.”
Julia’s lips press into a hard line, and for a moment, I think she won’t give me anything else. But then she exhales and lets out a breath I know she’s been holding on to for far too long.
“It’s my mom,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “She’s just… She’s always so busy, you know? And when she’s not, she’s…tired. Or mad. Or—” Julia cuts herself off, shaking her head like she’s said too much.
I sit there quietly, giving her time to gather her thoughts. Not wanting to push too much.
“I mean, I get it,” she says, letting out a frustrated breath. “She works all the time, and she’s doing everything by herself. My dad isn’t really in the picture. I know it’s a lot…so I try not to be… I don’t know, ungrateful or whatever. But sometimes, it’s like…” Her voice catches, and she looks away.
“It’s like you’re the one holding everything together,” I finish her thought. Her head snaps back to me, her eyes wide with surprise.
“My mom had me when she was young. She worked a lot, and when she wasn’t working, she wasn’t really around. At least not in the way I needed. I felt like I had to grow up fast. It was my job to take care of things kids shouldn’t have to worry about.”
She looks at me, her lips pressing into a straight line. “Yeah. That’s how I feel sometimes.”
I take a deep breath, trying to keep my emotions sealed away. “It’s tough feeling like you have to be the strong one all the time. But you don’t have to carry all of it by yourself.”
She looks at me and goosebumps prickle my skin when similar light green eyes connect with mine. Her expression is still guarded, but I can see her beginning to open up to me.
“It’s like I don’t have a choice sometimes. I’m just sucking it up until it’s time to go to college.”
“Maybe it feels that way right now, but even if it’s just here, at the library, you always have a place where you can escape for a little while. You don’t have to be anything for anyone here. You can just be.”
Julia doesn’t answer, but I catch the tiniest nod before she looks away. “Mr. Castillo’s writing workshop has been really helpful too. He’s helping me with my writing, and it’s been a nice escape.”
I smile and feel a familiar warmth trickle across my chest. Her eyes drift back down to her book, and I can tell that’s all I’ll get out of her tonight.
“I’m glad to hear that, Julia,” I say. “I’ll be at the front desk if you need anything. Even if it’s just someone to listen.”
Her voice is quiet but sincere. “Thanks.”
