I almost cough up the water I was attempting to drink. I set the drink down and lean back in the booth to contemplate where I’d want my demise to be.
“I don’t think that’s how it works, but definitely somewhere outside. If I’m going to die, I want to be able to see the stars one last time. Maybe the creek. I feel like that would be a great place for me and the killer.”
Henry leans into the table like he’s eager to hear more. “Where’s the creek?”
“Oh, it’s just a hang-out spot my friend Wren and her brother found when we were kids. I haven’t been back there in years. It’s in the middle of nowhere, but there’s a perfect swimming hole beside it, so we pretty much lived there in the summertime.”
I haven’t thought about the creek in years. Wren mentioned it last year, and I think she still goes back there with Blake and her brother, but I have yet to join them. Colt and I created a lot of memories at the crick. Hell, I think weeven shared our first kiss there. It felt weird reliving the past in the place I’m at now.
“It sounds nice,” Henry says with a slightly unsure tone.
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I just never understood the appeal of being in the middle of nowhere. I guess growing up in a city will do that to you. When I used to visit my dad in the summer I hated having to drive thirty minutes to go anywhere. I like having everything at the tip of my finger.”
“It seems like you’re adjusting okay. Or are you still hating it here?”
He leans back in his seat and adjusts his shirt. His eyes gloss over mine and a gentle smile creeps across his face. “It’s not so bad. There are parts I’m starting to enjoy.”
I want to ask what parts he’s talking about, but I stop myself. “Well, maybe I’ll take you there someday. I think you’d like it.”
Rosy interrupts our moment and slaps two hot plates on the table in front of us. My nose is greeted with the smell of nostalgia and comfort.
My eyes snap to Henry, and I wait for his reaction. It’s a lot of pressure to recommend something, and it’s even more pressure when they actually listen to you.
I watch as Henry slices his first piece and unassumingly places the bite in his mouth. I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting for the ultimate stamp of approval. Just when I’m about to give up, he looks up with joy in his eyes and says, “I don’t fully understand what kind of meat this is, but it’s delicious.”
A huge smile spreads across my face and a warm feeling begins to buzz in my chest. I was starting to like Henry and that was going to be a problem.
Today was a long day. My typical quiet shift started with an obnoxious group of teens who figured out the library was the one place in town with free Wi-Fi and bean bag chairs. Between loud whispering and giggling, I had to unleash my mom voice more than once.
Then, I discovered that the morning shift desk attendant didn’t process any of the books sitting in the return bin, and I spent a good portion of the night doing that. And then, when I finally finished, the printer jammed, and I had to troubleshoot how to fix it.
The night was filled with rude patrons, unsupervised kids tearing through the children’s section and a strange phone call that started off sounding like a prank, but I quickly realized the woman on the other end genuinely thought she was calling her favorite Italian restaurant in town. The poor woman called three times before I broke down and googled the right number to give to her.
To make matters worse, I spent the entire night thinking about the perfect day I had with Henry. I couldn’t go ten minutes without daydreaming about how his toothy grin made my skin feel like it was on fire.
I was right. Spending more time with him was turning my brain into mush. Henry was just a man, and I didn’t let men affect me this way. Or at least that was my promise to myself after the divorce. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in someone else that you lose yourself entirely. I didn’t want that. I couldn’t want that.
The issue was that, in one tutoring session, he helped me completely turn around my bad grade streak. When my professor posted the results from last week’s assignment, I felt a small seed of pride growing inside of me. I finally got an A, and Henry was to thank.
I let out a strangled sigh, my eyes falling to my hands resting in my lap. Ink smudges cling stubbornly to my skin, and I’m starting to believe they might be permanent. I slowlystretch my neck before switching off the ignition and glancing toward the warm glow spilling from the windows of my old home.
Colt kept the house after the divorce, which I didn’t object to. The small building I’m staring at never really felt like my home. I tried my hardest to contribute and mold it into something I felt connected to, but it never happened. Some small part of me knew something wasn’t right.
I lean my head back against the seat, tilting my neck to the left so I can watch the stars peek out from the clouds. I need to push through this, stay focused on what I want, and not let my mind wander to the part of me that Henry has slowly started to reawaken.
I let my head rest for five more seconds before I ease open the driver’s side door and head inside. I pause at the front door and peel open the screen door before knocking. I wait a few seconds and cross my arms in frustration when Colt doesn’t answer.
He’s told me multiple times I don’t need to knock, but I never listen. I stand in front of the door for a minute longer before pushing it open and stepping inside.
I breathe in the faint smell of Colt’s cologne mixed with an even fainter smell of the lavender air freshener I must’ve left behind. The old scents should cause a pang of sadness, but I don’t feel sad. If anything, I feel the nostalgia creeping in and clinging to me like an old crutch.
“Milo? Colt?” I call, my voice echoing off the awful floral wallpaper that still coats the entryway. I always planned on redecorating the small space, but I never found the motivation to make any permanent changes.
I hear a muffled thud, followed by the unmistakable patter of small footsteps. My heart leaps out of my chest when Milo bounds around the corner and his face breaks into a wide grin.
“Mama!” He throws his tiny arms around my legs, and Isink down to his level to pull him in close. Getting to be the cause of my son’s excitement is enough to wipe away any bad day.
