It was true. As a new mother, I retreated into myself a lot. Wren was still living in Cleveland at the time, and it was easy to make my entire life revolve around Milo. I didn’t have many close friends or family to rely on. Colt was there, but for some reason, I felt the need to push him away, too. I loved Mi, but it was hard to even remember who I was before him.
Colt’s face sobers at my response. “I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but I’m glad we’re figuring it out.”
I flash him a genuine smile. “Me too.”
In his typical Colt fashion, he immediately changes the subject to talk about something lighter. “Why didn’t you call me about the sink? I could’ve fixed it.”
I sigh and lean deeper into the back of the couch. “I know, but I wanted to get it figured out myself. I am capable of that, Colt.”
“I know,” he says, holding his hands up in defense. “It’s just… It probably would’ve been better than having a stranger in here.”
“Henry is not a stranger. He’s my neighbor, and he’s Mr. Cooke’s son.”And my friend, I wanted to say but kept it to myself for some reason.
Colt takes a moment to examine my reaction. He didn’t get jealous, but he was overprotective. It was endearing when we first started dating, but that wore off quickly.
He was also good at recognizing when I was irritated. That was typically when he changed the subject or ran away from the conversation altogether. Another reason on the long list of why our marriage didn’t work out. Fighting would’ve been better than nothing.
As if on cue, Colt says, “Well, I have to get going. You’re starting at the library tomorrow, right?”
“Yup,” I answer before pushing myself off the couch. “I’ll drop Mi off around three o’clock if that still works?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Are you excited?”
My face sinks at the thought of the new part-time job Wren had helped me get. Last winter, she helped the local library revamp its website and told me about the job opening. It was a short shift in the evening, but it worked out so I could drop Mi off at Colt’s before I went to work.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of the library growing up. Anyone who had their nose buried in a book intimidated the hell out of me. I was never a big reader, and the thought of being surrounded by books all night didn’t elicit emotions ofexcitement. It was just a job to help me pay for school and help on top of what Colt was giving us for child support.
“It’s a job,” I respond plainly. “The manager said I can do schoolwork when it’s slow, so that’ll be nice.”
“That’s great,” Colt answers, standing up. He walks over to Milo’s playmate and pulls him in for a big bear hug. “Bye, buddy.”
Seconds later, Colt passes through the front door, and I hear the engine of his Duramax fire up in the driveway.
Once the puttering of his obnoxious vehicle is out of hearing distance, I let out a puff of frustrated hot air and crouch down to Milo’s small frame. “I think we both earned a nap today.”
The old desk chair creaks when I ease into my position at the front desk of the library. I have officially been on the job for a week, and it’s been a riveting experience, to say the least.
Not much happened in the evenings at oursmall town’s library. There was evening programming and kids who would shuffle in and out of the building at night. I usually missed the daytime rush after I clocked in at three-thirty, but there were a few that would find some desolate corner to set up shop in until their parents dragged them away.
Other than the summer daytime rush, the library was a ghost town after six p.m. The last two hours of my shift typically dragged on, but it was time that I had to sit down and focus on schoolwork.
A few months after Colt and I had split, I decided I was finally going to finish school. I started taking classes at the local community college after high school, and then I transitioned to a bachelor’s program online.
I had plans to go to a four-year college before Colt proposed. I was still going to go, but I was scared to leave Honey Grove. Marrying Colt felt like I was building a true home for myself, and I wasn’t giving that up.
Honey Grove had welcomed me during a tumultuous time in my life, and it felt like a cozy sweater I didn’t want to give up. I was comfortable, and I felt at home for the first time in my life.
So, when things started to become uncomfortable during the shambles of my failed marriage, I decided it was time to jumpstart my dreams again. I was going to build a life for me and Milo. I wasn’t sure what all that entailed, but it sure as hell didn’t mean relying on Colt’s child support for the rest of my life. I needed a career, and finishing college seemed like a good place to start.
I take one last look around the empty lobby and decide it’s a good time to open my laptop. The worn-in device has been with me since my senior year of high school.
It takes a few seconds for the old computer to fire up, but when I finally see the homepage screen, I open my email. The first email I see is a notification that the grades have been posted for my English class. It was an introductory coursethat my community college credits didn’t satisfy and the last requirement to satisfy my general education requirements.
I begin to fidget in my chair, the annoying creaking bringing the space back to life. I steady myself and exhale softly before navigating to the window that could make or break my night.
As soon as my dinosaur of a laptop loads, I scroll down and see the grade I received for my first paper of the semester. A dense pressure builds in my stomach, and the room around me sinks. There in bold is a71%staring me dead in the eye.
“Fuck,” I whisper into thin air.
