What was she doing, exhausted from driving for hours last night, leaving behind her friends and family, a job she loved...and Michael? And all just so that Tony could see Poppy in the brief window of time he had available, which, let’s face it, he probably hadn’t actually been planning to tell Carrie about before she’d phoned him. And then he couldn’t even be bothered to spend a few hours with his daughter after he’d requested it. The man was a disgrace.
As usual, Tony didn’t pick up on the first try but persistence paid off and he finally answered in a sleepy voice.
“Carrie?”
“You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.”
“Oh shit. Yeah. That was today. I was out last night and didn’t get back until God only knows...”
“You knew I was coming back especially.”
“Right, yeah. I should have set an alarm or something.”
The final tiny shred of patience that Carrie had for her ex evaporated.
“Tony, I’ve driven for hours so that you could see Poppy and spend some time with her,” she snapped.
“I know, I know. I’ll be there as soon as I can, all right? An hour max. Or maybe tomorrow would be better. I’ve got a few things I need to sort out today. Could you lend me some petrol money? Things are a bit tight?”
“You have a car? I thought you couldn’t afford one?”
“Well, I’ve been working, haven’t I? I thought it would be useful. For taking Poppy out and stuff.”
“I can count how many times you’ve taken Poppy out by yourself on one hand. And each and every time has been a disaster and I’ve ended up coming to the rescue.” Carrie took a deep breath. She could do this. “No, Tony. I cannot lend you money for petrol. And I need you to repay what you’ve already borrowed from me. I don’t have a lot of spare cash. It’s expensive bringing up a child and you don’t contribute anything.”
“You know I’d pay more if I could,” he whined.
“You don’t contribute anything,” she repeated. “And it looks like you’re going to have to sell that new car of yours if you can’t afford petrol for it,” she said, calmly.
“You’re being ridiculous. This isn’t you, Carrie. Have you been talking to your crazy aunt about me?”
“She’s not crazy. And you’d know that if you’d ever taken the chance to get to know her,” Carrie said firmly. “We’ll be in London until lunchtime tomorrow if you want to see Poppy. Then we’ll be returning to Cornwall.”
“You’re only staying one night?”
“Yes, so that you can see Poppy and I can sort out some things I need to here. I’ve got things to get back to at the shop. Message me when you know if you’ll be coming.” And she put down the phone.
Carrie couldn’t believe what she’d just said. She’d been so angry with Tony that she’d told him exactly what she was feeling and made the decision about what she needed to do almost without thinking. Of course she and Poppy needed to return to Cornwall.
Carrie’s heart was thumping wildly in her chest, but she was proud of herself. Poppy deserved so much better than the way she was treated by her father and it was time he realised it. Carrie was done tiptoeing around Tony, doing her best to makeup for his shortcomings and hoping he’d finally decide to step up for his daughter.
* * *
As resolved as she was to remain strong, Carrie was definitely nervous about what would transpire. She kept her phone by her, checking it constantly to the point that Poppy asked her why she was looking at it all the time. She wished she could talk things through with Davinia, but her friend was still in Florida.
Poppy was happy to see the toys she’d left behind but talked non-stop about the bookshop and the kittens and holiday club and, basically, the life she loved in Castle Cove. Carrie began to question whether she should have returned to London at all. But no, she felt like she’d had to come back to properly see what had actually been right in front of her. She’d needed that final idiotic move by Tony as the impetus to do what she needed to do.
They stayed in just in case Tony turned up or called to say he’d be there soon, but he didn’t. Carrie was tired from her long drive the night before and angry with herself for every single one of the choices she’d made regarding Tony. At least those after she became pregnant. She could never regret what led to Poppy, not for a second.
She debated calling her mother but knew she felt exactly the same about Tony as her aunt did, although she was usually slightly more subtle about it, and Carrie wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. Even though deep down she knew the women were right and she’d have done well to have listened to them. And to Michael.
Spending the day in her flat without the distractions of the bookshop and kittens and, well, everything from Castle Cove, had given Carrie time to clear her mind. She wasn’t under the impression that a life in Cornwall would be perfect — therewas the little issue of her feelings for Michael for a start. They couldn’t be together but being friends with him had to be so much better than not having him at all. Why did he have to be so lovely? So easy to fall in love with? Because yep, that’s what had happened. She would continue to ignore it as much as possible but it didn’t change the fact, or make it any easier to accept that it seemed the perfect man really was out there for her, but life was complicated and happy ever afters didn’t happen nearly as often as they did in the books in her aunt’s shop.
Finally, hours after Poppy had gone to bed asking when she was going to see her daddy, a WhatsApp message came through on Carrie’s phone from Tony.I’ll be around tomorrow morning at nine, if that’s OK.
See you then, Carrie replied. Then she went to bed.
* * *
