They stood up and Michael offered her his arm. Carrie gave a little curtsy and accepted it, turning to pull a face at their friends at the kitchen window before they walked off together out of view.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Michael said quietly.
“It was always going to happen.”
He nodded.
“You seem much happier than you were this afternoon,” Michael said eventually.
“I am,” said Carrie. “It’s been a lovely evening, so relaxed and fun. Earlier was... difficult. I really wanted to have a lastday in the shop, making the most of being able to be there, but it all went a bit wrong over lunch with Auntie Mary.”
Carrie looked up at Michael to check he was happy for her to continue.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Auntie Mary told me that she’s wanting to step back from running the shop, a kind of half-retirement I suppose, with her focusing on the auctions and rare books side of things. She invited me to be the shop’s manager and offered Poppy and me the flat above the shop.”
“Oh my goodness, that’s fantastic!” said Michael. He seemed to light up as his face broke into a grin.
“I turned her down,” Carrie said. “I explained that while it was an incredible offer, I need to be in London.”
Michael stopped walking. “Because of Poppy’s father?”
“Mainly, yes.” She wasn’t about to admit that she was finding it harder and harder not being able to give in to her feelings for Michael and that the only sensible thing she could think of to do was to out a large amount of space between them. “Auntie Mary doesn’t understand why I can’t stay here. She can’t seem to see that Poppy needs her dad. She said some things about Tony which made me lose my temper, which is why I stomped off and ended up soaking wet.”
“What did she say?”
Carrie took a moment before replying. Even repeating what Aunt Mary said felt like she was being disloyal to Poppy’s dad and therefore Poppy somehow.
“She called him useless. But she doesn’t even know him. He’s not the most ... engaged father in the world, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be given the chance to do better and the opportunity to see his daughter whenever he wants...”
“But what do you want?” asked Michael, turning her to face him. His eyes bored into hers.
“You know it’s not as easy as that,” Carrie replied. “When you share a child with someone, you need to take them into account when you make big life decisions. You wouldn’t move to... Scotland and take Layla away from Georgia, would you?”
“No, of course not. But Georgia and I share custody of Layla. Except for during the problems at the beginning of the holidays, which, thanks to you are being resolved, Layla is back and forth between our houses. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case with you and Tony.”
“No, it’s not,” admitted Carrie. “At least at the moment. But not everyone’s a natural father. It takes some people time to adjust to being a parent.”
“It’s been seven years,” Michael pointed out. He took a deep breath and continued, “You cannot force Tony to be a good father to Poppy. He has to do it on his own.”
“I’m not forcing him!” said Carrie, crossly.
“Is it him pushing to see and spend time with Poppy? Because it doesn’t sound like it.”
“Actually, he did ask to see her, not that that’s any of your business!” Carrie snapped.
Carrie regretted saying it as soon as the words came out of her mouth. Michael’s face fell. Of course he cared about her and Poppy, he’d proved that time and time again. She’d shared and opened up about her life to him and he’d done the same for her. What she’d said had been grossly unfair.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” she said, quickly.
“It’s fine. I should have kept my mouth shut. You’re right, it’s nothing to do with me. I’m going to go and see if I can help with any of the clearing up before Dylan and Lucy kill each other.” And Michael left.
* * *
Carrie sighed and took a moment to calm her emotions before she also went back inside the house, doing her best to act normally, watching the card game and laughing as Poppy thrashed everyone.
She was very aware of where Michael was at all times as he chatted and helped out. She really wished she’d brought her car with her so she didn’t have to rely on Michael to get home. It was about a mile and a half back to the bookshop... She and Poppy could walk it, but it would raise eyebrows.
