“You are not focusing,” Merlin told me cheerfully, cutting through my mid-evil-plot-foiling thoughts. “You must focus if you wish to grow your magical prowess, Gwen.”
“Hasn’t it grown enough for the day?” I asked with a sigh as I stared down at our joined hands which still glowed with our combined power. “Why don’t we focus on your power today?”
Merlin had explained how his own magical core seemed to be losing magic at a much faster rate than he could produce it—like it was some kind of a cracked hourglass.
I’d felt it myself the day that he had healed Arthur. The drain had made my own knees shake, so I couldn’t imagine what he felt like.
“I do not think there is anything we can do about my power,” Merlin said, frowning.
“Why not?” I pushed, wanting a straight answer from the mysterious wizard for once. It seemed as if I could always rant about my problems, but Merlin never did the same for his own.
Merlin sighed, releasing our joined hands and I felt the loss immediately as the warmth from our magic dissipated. “Onething you will learn about magic, Gwen, is that sometimes it comes with sacrifice.”
“Are you about to say with great power comes great responsibility? Because I’m pretty sure that’s trademarked,” I told him, watching as he frowned at my poorly executedSpidermanjoke. It probably would have helped if he knew whatSpidermanwas but I was pretty sure that none of the omegas who he’d pulled through time put Peter Parker high on their list of must-have experiences. What a bummer.
“Itdoescome with much responsibility and I knew that when I began pulling omegas from their own times.”
“So you’re saying it can’t be fixed? But that doesn’t make any sense! When we touch you’re able to do more magic at least,” I pointed out, thinking of the times when he’d siphoned my magic to do spells to strengthen the barriers around the castle and surrounding village.
“Yes, but that magic fades all too quickly.”
Somewhere, deep in my mind, an idea began to form. We’d only ever touched hands before… but what if we did more than that?
The thought may have come from a desperate need to be accepted after being rejected so soundly by Bedivere earlier—but even I could admit to myself that I’d been attracted to Merlin from the moment that our magic touched the day we healed Arthur together.
It just felt sorightto be around the man even if he wasn’t necessarily human.
“What if…” I trailed off, too nervous to actually ask.
“What if what?” Merlin pressed, curiosity clear on his face.
My own face felt flushed and warm. “It might be stupid, and reckless, and altogether not a good idea.”
“Tell me,” Merlin insisted, reaching for my hands again. The zing of magic and the tingle of pleasure the contact brought spurred me on.
“Well, if holding hands feels like this,” I said, lifting our joined fingers. “I have to wonder what it would be like if we did more—surely more magic would be exchanged.”
Merlin’s brows shot up with surprise, his eyes widening.
My stomach dropped.
“Never mind, forget I said anything at all,” I said, pulling away from him and shaking myself out of the dreamscape we’d been sitting in.
Merlin’s rectory felt much too bright now, the sunlight streaming in from overhead and making me feel dizzy as I stood up abruptly.
“Gwen,” Merlin called, trying to stop me as I hurried for the door. “I didn’t realize—”
“No, don’t even go there,” I said, cutting him off. “Obviously I was right and even suggesting that was a bad idea. Sorry. I think I’m just having a weird day.”
With that I turned and slipped out of the thick door to find Gawain waiting for me.
“Gwen, are you well?” he asked as soon as he got a good look at my face. I felt him tug on his end of the bond. I had closed it off completely earlier after my first rejection of the day from Bedivere and now I could feel the alpha’s concern as he gave it another tug.
With a sigh, I let him in to feel all of the embarrassment that was currently souring my stomach.
“Oh my,” Gawain said, his blue eyes wide.
“Oh my is right,” I grumbled as I hurried down the long winding stairs faster than normal, not caring if I took a tumble down them.
